This Annum Needs to be Keelhauled (or, "Finally, the End of 2011")

The past few years have been a complete whirlwind.  Witness the following:

• 2008 -- The year Hubs (who was not-yet-Hubs back then) and I each moved from LA to San Francisco and started new career paths.  We also got engaged and started making a (teeny-tiny rented) home together.
• 2009 -- We married, we traveled, and we decided to start a family.  We also started the super-duper-amazing-I-mean-no-it-sucks-shoot-me-now process of house hunting.
• 2010 -- On New Years Day, we placed an offer on a beautiful Victorian house (20 miles south of our old apartment).  It was accepted, and we moved from the city to the 'burbs to become real mortgage-paying homeowners.  Hubs did a ton of travel for work; I got a promotion.  And of course, we became parents to the awesomest kid on the planet.  It was sort of a monster year for being thrust face first into adulthood.

So on New Years 2011, Hubs and I decided that we had had enough change to last us for awhile.  We said that our resolution was that 2011 would be the calmest year ever.  Keep it nice and easy, just work on our house, do our jobs as well as always, and have fun being parents and learning about our new town.  Apparently, God thought that was pretty funny.  And life continued to happen, you know, as it does.  

This year has had plenty of good, and definitely some bad.  It sure as hell threw a lot more change our way than we anticipated.    Another unexpected promotion, a new job for Hubs (so grateful and amazed that I can say both of those things in this economy).  Both of our brothers got married, bringing two awesome ladies into our family.  Our teeny gurgley baby became a walking, talking, hilarious drama queen.  We had a health scare that rocked our little family, and we managed to come out ok on the other side.  It's all been a lot more stress than we counted on.  But it was never, ever more than we could handle.  Every bit of it has made us stronger as a family.  And despite any anxieties we faced, we have a pretty good life.

With that, I can safely say that we have no resolutions for 2012.  Just goals and hopes.  To do everything we can to stay healthy, to strive for kindness, to be a good example for the kid, and to have fun.  Oh, and to blog more :)

Hope 2011 taught you all as much as it taught us.  Here's to a bright, shiny, unblemished new year!  Bring it, 2012!  

(And now, for a completely random video)

Pirate in Red, with Crew o' Reindeer (or, "HD Meets the Big Guy")

We've definitely been a little holiday-themed here at The Dread Pirate Mama, but that's kind of the way the daughter is rolling lately.  Kid is obsessed with St. Nick.  Hubs and I had to wake her up yesterday morning, and the first words she uttered the actual second that she opened her eyes were "Santa Claus!"  Keep in mind that HD's only 1.5 years of age, so it's not like she's got a complete understanding of presents just yet.  To her, the Santa excitement doesn't stem from the bringing of toys...it's more the fact that he's basically a new puppet-type character in her life, like her beloved Cookie Monster.  He's a brightly colored squashy dude in an outlandish outfit with corresponding songs and catch phrases. 

She demands Santa songs at odd times of day, usually while being changed.  She takes ornaments from our tree and lays them at the feet of our 10 inch Santa figurine like sacrificial offerings.  She runs around the house chanting "ho, ho, ho, Meery Keefmiff."  So when Hubs and I talked to HD about visiting Big Santa Claus (not to be confused with our little figurine), she could barely contain her excitement.  I was wary, as I have heard many a story about toddler freakouts once in the presence of Santa. 

Last week, we headed to our small town's local fire house.  The amazing firemen hold a free event there each year, and it is 18,000x better than any mall Santa experience.  They have free hot drinks and cookies, a coloring station, and a big pile of actual snow out on their driveway (HD takes after her mama, and flat out refused to touch the stuff).  As the crowning glory of the event, Santa Claus hangs out in a black leather easy chair so the kids can visit him.  We went in the beginning of the event, and got to witness several nervous kids throw mini fits over visiting Santa.  Not so our HD.  Kid full on broke away from Mama and sprinted to Santa.  Thank goodness there wasn't a line to see the big guy.  She was in awe, and all smiles.

We decided to give Santa a break from all the love and allow other kids to visit him.  HD was only mildly pouty about saying goodbye, but was mollified at the coloring station.  Here's her I'm-so-not-sitting-in-the-cool-lap face:

Before we left, there was again no line for Santa (weird since the place was crawling with kids, and he wasn't a creepy Santa).  And HD sprinted up for a return visit.

You may be wondering, in the midst of all this Santa-love, have we discussed the true meaning of the holiday with our child?  Why, of course.  But only because one of the kids at day care taught her how to say "little baby Jesus."  She's now named one of her baby dolls "Little Baby Jesus."  This doll is a Cabbage Patch looking babe with pig tails that my grandmother sewed years ago -- the Jesus moniker would definitely would have warmed her Catholic heart to no end.

Thankful I Be on This Day Again (or, "My Thursday Ritual")

HEY, YOU!!!!  Get Thankful!

















Yes, it's time for Thankful on a Thursday again.  As mentioned before, I normally do this on Facebook, but I figured the above photo was reason enough to post it on the ol' blog.

Thankful on a Thursday: for Hubs insisting that we get a gym membership (and the glorious 45 minute lunch time classes they offer), for the tastiness of holiday business lunches, to Neil Gaiman for being such an incredible and creative author, and to a little kids who are infectious in their wonderment over the magic of this time of year.

HD's holiday lingo has expanded to: nutcracker, snowman, baby Jesus, and Santa-Claus-is-coming-to-town.

What's up tonight?  Me merry crew will further our Christmas spirit by visiting Santa Claus.  Even better?  We're not doing it in the mall!!!  Our local fire station invites kids over each year to meet Santa and donate toys.  Way more fun, helpful, and Christmas-spirity than being charged $25 for a basic photo package.  Color the Cap'n stoked.

Yo Ho Ho Ho (or, "Christmas Tree Is Up!")

November was National Blog Posting Month.  The idea is that you try to post once each day for the whole month.  Let's just say that whoever picked November is masochist.  I was doing ok, and then the holiday and all its preparation kicked in.  So...glazing over the past couple of weeks?  The busiest time of year at work (for me, anyway) passed in a whirlwind, HD impressed everyone by chowing brussels sprouts at Thanksgiving, and teething incisors is the work of the devil.  You're all caught up! 

We focused this weekend on getting our Christmas on.  Heading out to get a real tree, we ended up getting dazzled at Home Depot by a glorious imitation 7.5 foot Black Hills Spruce, completely pre-lit with LED lights.  Both Hubs and I are from families with a known legacy of fake trees, so we jumped.  We put HD down for her nap, lit my mistletoe-flavored Yankee candles to complete the illusion of our faux tree, and got to work.  The beauty took about 15 minutes to put together (*choirs of angeles sang*), so we got to dive right into ornaments.  We thought for about 35 seconds about how to toddler proof the tree.  I personally think methodology should vary from kid to kid.  Our nugget?  Curious, but relatively obedient.  She puts stuff back if we tell her too...repeatedly.  Rather than go all out with a baby gate to block off the tree, we decided to stick it in a corner (protected on at least 2 sides without even trying!) out of her normal path of destruction (i.e. it's in the dining rather than living room).  

Upon waking from her nap, HD came down to behold the essence of merriment.  We even saved a few ornaments for her to put on.  She got so excited, she full-on attacked me.  I have the mussed hair to prove it.

But it's all good, because then I got her to say Merry Christmas for the camera.  Eh, sorta.

Kid has also taken a recent shine to that Santa Claus fellow.  She points him out everywhere, and repeatedly reminds us that he is coming to town.  Anytime she's thrown a fit this week, that song has talisman-like soothing qualities.  I think the "better not cry" line is what tames our beast.  HD also has rediscovered the same love of nutcrackers that she demonstrated this time last year.  We have a pirate one on our mantel (natch), which totally made her giggle last year.  Vid below was neigh on impossible to shoot -- me holding baby, maneuvering nutcracker and attempting to film all at once.  But I'll leave y'all on that note, so I can get back to my hot chocolate.

Ode to the Grand Admiral Madre (or, "My Mother is My Role Model")

Well, I certainly can't get all sentimental about my Daddy without touching on my Mama, can I?

My mother is one hell of a strong lady.  It takes an iron will to be the rock of a family that moved around as much as ours has. She has taught me how to be a better hostess, a decent cook, how to have good manners, and how to come up with a good zinger on the off-chance that someone's being horrid to you.  She taught me how important it is to stand up for yourself; that there's a big difference between being kind and being a pushover. 

Mama, I'm indebted to you for so many reasons:

• When I was maybe 5, you asked for my opinion before deciding your work schedule (working weekends = no biscuits for breakfast, working weekday afternoons = no Mama/snack time after kindergarten).  That made me feel so very important. 
• For dance lessons, letting me read aloud to you, letting me dress up in your old stuff, and all the other little ways you encouraged your budding actress years before I ever even stepped on a stage.
• You remember when we got locked out of our flat in Barbados?  We decided to stack up the neighbor's patio furniture and you let me climb up onto the balcony to get back in.  Funniest example in my mind of creative female problem solving.  And sheer enjoyment of celebratory Coca Cola.
• Always bopping around and singing goofy songs.  Because of you, I have zero shame about dancing and singing along to the muzak at the grocery store, in elevators, or department stores.  By myself.
• For pushing and working so hard for me to get to experience the things you didn't have in your own childhood.  Thank you for summer camp, swim lessons, band, and never making me clean my plate (other than the veggies). 
• Giving me A Tree Grows in Brooklyn at age 11, and telling me how important it was to you at that age.  You remember how battered my copy became?  That's a true testament to how well you spoke to my heart from behind the scenes, at a time when I was definitely a difficult kid.  To this day, I consider that book to be a love letter from a mother to a daughter.
• Thank you for all those random trips to the pet store to look at puppies, just because.  And thanks heaps for being a huge softie for a little red-head Chow Shepard mix with a neurological twitch.  And thanks most of all for making up a story that we were puppysitting so Daddy would have a whole week to fall in love with her so he would let us keep her. Your suggestion to Southernize her name from "Blue" to "Bonnie Blue" sure didn't hurt.
• You were so candid with your stories about how you were teased as a kid for being so skinny.  Thank you for constantly reminding me how it would suddenly becomes an enviable trait as an adult (you so nailed that one!).  And
• For raising me to just assume that I would go to college.  Not only that, but for constantly reminding me during the middle school and high school rough patches that college was going to be so much more fun, open-minded, freeing, and interesting than anything I had yet experienced (it totally was).
• When HD was born, I know you were so excited to see your new grandbaby.  But I know that first and foremost you wanted to make sure that I was ok.  Thanks for kicking it for hours in that waiting room, just in case I needed you.  Knowing you were nearby was a huge, huge help.

 I feel like more than any person in my life, you and I have managed to change, adapt, and grow the most together, always for the better.  I love that we get to be adults together now, and that you can be my friend as well as my parent.  Everyone should get to be friends with someone as honest, funny, and caring as you.

Ode to a Sandpaper Pappy (or, "My Father is Awesome")

There's nothing like being a parent to make you really reflect on your own childhood.  I don't have any illusions that I had the perfect childhood or the perfect family any more than I believe I was the perfect daughter.  But I have no doubts whatsoever that my parents always tried their hardest to do what they believed was the best for our family, and that they did (and continue to) love the bejeezus out of my brother and me. 

My father has always been one of the hardest working people I know.  Cripes, the man managed to get his masters while holding down a full time job and raising 2 kids while his wife also worked.  He had to travel a ton for work, but he still managed to be a very actively involved dad.

Daddy, thank you so much for the following (and lots more):

• When I was a teeny kid, and how you would lay down and let me crawl onto your belly and up to your propped knees so I could slide down your shins.  That was really fun.
• Making our backyard fort, complete with tire swing. 
• Always finding loose change for the ice cream truck.
• Taking me to the Young Writers' Conference at EWU.  That totally cultivated a hobby that I still enjoy today.
• Always making sure that no matter how much you traveled, that you could see at least one show of each of my various high school performances.
• Stacking me and the bro on your back when we would sled down the street.  Even though it was probably dangerous as all get out, it was sooooo much faster than going down by ourselves.
• Cultivating my love of horror movies and teaching me that being afraid is the biggest part of the fun (I'm referring specifically to watching The Shining at age 13, NOT The Exorcist at age 14 -- yikes)
• I owe you entirely for my taste in music.  You taught me to be open to new bands in addition to our old favorites, to love seeing bands live, and that pop music is an important part of American history.
• For being a cuddly daddy, who was never to busy to hold my hand or put an arm around me or give a scratchy mustache kiss.
• Every single early morning before you would fly out on a business trip, you would sneak into my room in the wee hours of morning to say you loved me before you left.  Me being a light sleeper, I'd wake about 85% pf the time, but I never minded.
• For teaching me the green eggs and ham theory -- that you have to try something before you can say that you don't like it.  Because of you, I love to eat.
• For teaching me the importance of knowing and remembering where you come from, and the idea of family as legacy, a linked chain with a shared history.
• Taking me to UCLA Scholar's Day, and subsequently convincing me to ditch the next day's scheduled USC visit to go to Disneyland instead.
• And for that Thanksgiving when I first came home after starting college, you invited me to enjoy a beer with you.  That completely stands out in my mind as the moment you first acknowledged me as an adult (even though I am so obviously still your little Weet Weet).  

You helped me to understand from a very early age what a father and a husband should be.  That I should have very high expectations of the man that I would marry.  Well, you were right and I do.  And I look at the amazing man that I chose to spend my life with, and the way he loves our daughter.  And weirdly, knowing that I have that makes me want to thank you, Daddy.   

Festivities and Menageries (or, "Man, We Was Bizzay")

Crazy weekend!  A gorgeous 11/11/11 wedding at the lovely Ferry Building in SF (congrats Omar and Alex!).  An overnight stay with Hubs's bro and his wife, minus Miss HD (she had a sleepover with the grandparents).  An awesome morning back at the Ferry Building to brunch it up with them, adults-only style.  Blue Bottle coffee + oyster po' boy + pumpkin tamale = breakfast of piratical champions.  Hightailed it to the grandparents' home to retrieve the kid and have lunch, then swooped on down to the other end of the Bay to the Oakland Zoo with my bro and his wife.  We saw our entire local family in the course of 4 counties and 1 day.  *phew*

This attempt to climb into the animal pen happened at every single exhibit.

There are zebras in the background, I swear.

Hubs and I unknowingly in matching outfits for a family pic (we will NEVER do that to our child on purpose)

The Zoo taught us many lessons, including the following:
1)  We don't need a stroller as long as we're in a fenced-off kid-friendly area with no cars (bah, like those are hard to find!).  It was truly awesome to let HD run free. 
2)  Like Madeline, HD also says "Pooh, pooh" to the tiger in the zoo.  But she was very impressed with the spider monkeys (which made Hubs and I nostalgic for our Costa Rican honeymoon). 
3)  Giraffes do communicate with each other verbally, but their voices are on a low enough frequency that most humans don't hear it.  What?  I thought that was fascinating.
4)  My brother and I, unbeknownst to one another prior to this weekend, shared a secret nerdy passion for Meerkat Manor.  Talk about weird sibling connections.  BTW, I'm still sad about the split of the family after Flower's death.

Agenda for next weekend?  YO GABBA GABBA LIVE (natch)!

Thankful I Be on This Day (or, "17 Months")

 I normally do my Thankful on a Thursday posts over on Facebook each week, but figured it wouldn't hurt to pull it out over here on the blog.

To those of y'all new to the idea, ToaT is all about focusing on the little things that make you grateful at that given point in time.  In my heart, I'm always super thankful for the big guns -- health, gainful employment, my family, freedom, the Tivo.  But as each week brings its little stresses and problems, it's nice to have a stop and smell the roses moment where I focus on much smaller things.  Usually those things tend to be food related, but I may be thankful for the funny kid who made me laugh on the train, or for Joshilyn Jackson novels (sidenote to my Mama -- read Backseat Saints if you haven't yet).  Here's this week's submission:

Thankful on a Thursday: for Honeycrisp apples, to my work for FINALLY ditching Lotus Notes for Gmail, for the prospect of wedding dancing/drinking after a long week, and to a little girl who's given me 17 months of the most fun I've ever had.

HD is 17 months old today.  She talks a blue streak, already using short sentences to ask questions ("where Daddy go?") or issue proclamations ("Mama read book").  She can count to 10, always skipping the number 7 for some unknown reason.  She's so social, always ambling up to other kids or babies to say hi.  Definitely tenacious, very inquisitive, and occasionally a drama queen.  Loves puppies, playing outside, running and hiding under blankets or make-shift forts, and coloring/painting.  Still prefers to be rocked and sung to before bed.  She's rough and tumble, with that awe-inspiring yet heart-stopping toddler sense of invincibility.  It probably sounds like I'm describing any old kid.  But my kid is fearless...except for vacuum cleaners.

HD's "say cheese" face.

Heavens, Mama, it is a bit early for the paparazzi.

She went from patient...

...to "GIMMEOUTNOWMAMAWHY?!"

Sea Shanties for Rough Waters (or, "Songs to Make It through this Week")

It's a really rough week at work, I'm all thrown off from the time change, and pre-holiday stress is starting to kick in.  I miss my extended family and friends that are far away.  Throw in too many bad hair days and a teething kid, and I slowly begin folding in on myself.  Music always helps me get through whatever troubles or worries are plaguing me.  Here are a few songs that are on heavy rotation this week:

1)  "It's a Fact (Printed Stained)," Matt & Kim -- peppy, short, heavy on the percussion!  The chorus "yes, yes, no, no no..." makes me giggle.  This is THE OFFICIAL theme song of toddlers everywhere.

2)  "10. A.M. Automatic," The Black Keys -- this song is so seriously badass.  It's a crank-at-full-volume-and-attempt-to-dance-while-driving kind of tune.

3)   "Save It for Later," The English Beat -- consistently one of my favorite songs of all time; one of those weird ones that I don't tire of no matter how often I listen.  This song completely sums up what it's like to be young and crave independence, while still sort of seeking your parents' support and approval.  And background violins make any song more profound, right?

4)  "Mystery Train, Pt. 2," Steve Earle -- The end of summer put me on a really big bluegrass/country kick, and ol' Stevie's a leftover from that.  This guy is incredible; I have an entire Pandora station devoted to him that I listen to at work when my afternoons revolve around spreadsheets.

5)  "My Way," Frank Sinatra -- This is the very epitome of "&$#* you, I don't need anyone, I'm awesome and can rely entirely upon myself."  It's the theme song for cantankerous old bachelors who drink too much Canadian Club.  But it's also the song that was played by every single street musician (I'm not even exaggerating) in spring of 2007 when Hubs and I went on a trip to Europe together.  That was back in our dating days, and that trip basically convinced us each that we had to marry each other.  It became "our song" as a result of that trip.  We even danced to it at our wedding, despite the fact that it's probably the most unromantic lyrical content ever.  I grin ear to ear every time I hear it in passing.

6) "Message of Love," The Pretenders -- Is there any goddess of rock who ranks above Chrissie Hynde?  Hell no.  Incidentally, this song also made an appearance at our wedding when we were announced at our reception.  And we (I) completely flubbed our big high-five intro, which totally doesn't still cause me embarrassment when I remember it.

7)  "Higher Love," Steve Winwood -- THIS IS MY JAM.  For reals.

8)   "Do You Love Me?," The Contours -- I know, right?  This song always makes me think of Teen Wolf Too too!

9)  "Take Me to the Pilot," Elton John -- EJ is incredible.  I even like his cheesy "That's Why They Call It the Blues" phase.  And don't get me started on my love of The Lion King soundtrack.  But very early EJ is the best version of himself, when he's all gospely and can hit those falsetto notes, hammering away at his ivories.  Plus, he's super duper live (HD was in ute when we saw him in concert, but judging from all her squirming, I gather she enjoyed as well).

10) "Love that Girl," Raphael Saadiq -- Everyone needs a little groove-happy in their life.  This man is one of the most perfect sources.

Happy listening!

Roguish Desires (or, "I Like Stuff")

I don't exactly consider myself a tastemaker. I'm usually in that last tier of folks who hear about whatever internet/tech trends are going on.  I primarily listen to music from the 1970s (honest to God, I'm still trying to figure out who Bruno Mars is).  And my fashion sense is probably more Annie Hall than Olivia Palermo (ooh, did I just reference someone who's actually semi-recent?!).  But, boy, I do love getting all bossy and giving unsolicited advice.  So on that note, here's the things this week that I adore, and you should too:

• Giada's Winter Minestrone Soup.  Holy mackerel, is this stuff tasty.  It's garlicky, slightly smokey from the pancetta, and chock full of delicious and healthy veggies.  Serve with a hunk of bread and you are all set.  Plus, the reruns of this soup are even better since the tastes have melded even more.  Although, I suppose that's true of most soups.  Anyway, I demand you make this one immediately. But only if you send me some because I'm almost out of my supply.
• Our country's men and women in the armed forces.  Sure I'm thinking of this because it's Veteran's Day later this week.  But these folks (AND their families!!!) deserve to be thanked every repeatedly and often.  Not everyone in the military or national guard fully agrees with the politics of this country -- hell, how many of you agree with every choice your employer makes?  Yet they serve strong and proud because it's their job.  Please, please make it a point to say "hey, thank you for what you do" to anyone you know who's serving or has served, or even to any stranger you see in uniform.  I promise you it really does mean a lot to them, and that they do not hear it enough.  Stepping down off the soap box now.
• Kids toys from Ikea.  Their stuff is all about creative play (lots of puppets, art supplies, play kitchens and tools, doctor sets).  It's colorful, durable, and cute.  And it's gloriously inexpensive.  I'm well on my way to having HD's Christmas all planned out and under budget, not to mention battery free.  Tack så mycket, Ikea!
• To all those folks who get amped over the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte...well, yes, I like them too.  But I go completely bonkers for Trader Joe's spiced cider.  It's made from whole, pressed apples and pre-marinated with all that lovely cinnamon/all-spice/orange rind.  All you have to do is heat.  And it's only $2.99!!  This single product takes a company that I adore and projects them into the stratosphere.  Especially if paired with some gingerbread (as made by their mix from a box).
• Working out and getting my Mardi Gras fix all at the same time.  (Although, Jasleen, I totally miss doing the Bollywood dance with you!)
• Old Navy kids' clothes, particularly this awesome sweatshirty jacket thing.  Old Navy peeps -- pretty please make one in my size?

Vittles, Part Dos (or, "Statis Check: The Kid Continues to Eat Whatever")

So food is pretty much one of my favorite things on the entire face of the planet ever.  There aren't too many things that I'll refuse to try (aside from creatures that are still squirming, or cool ranch Doritos).  When the zombie apocalypse happens, I call pantry-raiding duty.  Hubs loves to play guinea pig to my culinary experiments.  It wasn't always thus -- he subsisted only on butter noodles, cheese pizza, and chicken nuggets for the first 17 years of his life.  I'm forever grateful that dorm and fraternity life beat that finickiness out of him, as (in complete honesty) I would never have gone out with him if he maintained such a strict diet. 

Naturally, we've been pretty curious to see where HD would end up on the foodie spectrum.   I last wrote about this in April, when the kid was really fully getting into solid foods.  Back then, she pretty much ate whatever we placed in front of her until she was no longer hungry.  Now?  It's more or less the same.  Only she gets bored sooooooo quickly.  She's very much a grazer, and loves variety.  Kid would be right at home in a tapas restaurant.  Sure, she enjoys regular kid fare like peanut butter or mac'n'cheese, but she also loves roasted brussels sprouts and shrimp gratin with feta.  Which means she pretty much just eats what we eat -- which is flipping SWEET.  Mama certainly has no plans on being a short-order cook.

Although, I keep hearing that kids get picky with food starting around age 2.  And goodness knows toddlers love nothing more than changing their minds on a dime.  I'm hoping that's one "milestone" we can avoid entirely.  I'll gladly take the "I heart being naked" phase instead.  HD had sushi for the first time last night.  Before you call CPS...no, we did not feed our baby raw fish (just veggie rolls and cooked shrimp dumplings.  But kid scarfed seaweed, fresh ginger, and soy sauce like nobody's business.  All topped by her very first popsicle, since those wicked incisors are trying to push through.

Edemame (kid calls it, "mommy") and her de-contructed veggie rolls.

Mmmm, kiwi strawberry.

Incidentally, HD was super into chopsticks.  She kept wanting to use mine, but couldn't quite figure them out.  I think we have our next assignment.

Remembrances of Yore (or, "Nostalgia? Eh, Kinda")

This is a video from one year ago.  Was flipping through old files and it brought a huge smile to my face.  I don't normally get nostalgic for HD's teeny weeny days.  Don't get me wrong; I loved having a cuddly little bug who was the smiliest baby ever.  It's just that she honestly gets more and more fun (albeit more and more...um...challenging) with each passing day.  But this video?  Let's just say that the kid still cracks up whenever Mama pops out of a hiding place.  I guess some bits just never get old.  Hopefully it still works as a tension reliever in HD's teenage years.

Ballad of a Lady (or, "She's Always a Woman to Me")

According to the great Billy Joel (a grog- loving pirate if there ever was one), "she never gives out, she never gives in...she just changes her mind."

Portraits of a Babe (or, "You Try Photographing a Toddler")

To all the people who consistently demand photos of my daughter -- I completely understand.  She's cute, and you want to see the cute.   I honestly appreciate that you take an active, non-creepy interest in my kid and her blessed genetics ( thanks for passing down your good looks, Hubs).  And like any proud mama, I love to show her off. But capturing her mug on film is much easier said than done. Witness the attempted shots from this morning.

As evidenced, Miss Diva HD does not pose on command. It's candid shots + a prayer that'll she'll be still for 3 seconds = 1 usable shot out of 7.

Methinks a SLR camera may be on the list for Santa this year.

PS -- my phone only allows photos to be posted sideways when I blog from the phone.  Boo.

Wicked be My Laughter (or, "Baby-Related Halloween Leftovers")

I was lucky enough to have two really lovely baby showers when I was pregnant with Miss HD.  Both were casual, full of good friends and family, and mercifully game-free.  Very little kitsch, which is just my style.  But I got to say, if kitsch gets to be totally tongue in cheek and, well, BADASS, then this is pretty awesome: A Night of the Living Baby Shower.

I'm now fervently wishing that a close friend or sis-in-law is one day pregnant in a future October, and I can pitch this idea.  Although I may be the only person I actually know who's gaga enough over scary movies to find this both delightful and hilarious.  You're allowed to express your complete horror over my sense of humor in the comments. 

All Hallows Eve (or, "Happy Ween!!")

So a few weeks back my little family hit up our local Spirit Store to check out outdoor decor options for my 3rd favorite holiday (after Christmas and ITLAPD, of course).  We let HD wander around, and she was instantly drawn to the kids costume section.  She promptly shunned all things princess, waved a quick hello to Elmo, and then shrieked "DEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs.  HD had stumbled across a costume for her hero, DJ Lance Rock.  Hubs and I glanced at one another and shrugged.  At least she's not obsessed with the bossy pants of toddler TV, Dora the Explorer.

You know those cardboard inserts in store costume packing that have a picture of the character to advertise the costume?  Well, over the next two weeks, our daughter has dragged that thing around the house in her wake, gleefully showing anyone who will pay attention her "Dee" and the "Baby Dee" (the insert has a photo of the real DJ Lance Rock as well as one of a kid in the costume).  She kisses it.  She gets upset when she can't find it.  If we're not careful here, we're moving into golden calf territory.

Stuffing your face is considered proper 'Ween etiquette.

Luckily, Halloween came yesterday, and she had a real excuse to finally wear her polyester orange jumpsuit.  When I put it on her in the morning, the kid was fully aware that she was finally one with her idol.  She would glimpse herself in the mirror, point at her reflection, and whisper "Baby Dee" in tones that indicate she was well aware of the awesomenss of her outfit.  She kept the hat on at all times, but drew a firm line against wearing the GINORMOUS black nerd glasses.  I can't blame her.  Those things are monstrous even on a full size man face like Hubs's, a total fashion faux pas.  Anyway, behold the glory:

DJ HD Rock admits that tangerine is truly her signature color.

That night, we made the Trick-or-Treating rounds.  When she got scared of our neighbor's singing Frankenstein doll, we convinced her it was a frog ("Oh.  Hi, fog").  She refused to say trick or treat, but managed to say "oooooh" in a very appreciative manner anytime she was offered candy ("kangy, mmmm"), followed by a lovely sign language thank you/blowing kiss.  Kid adored being outside at night, and nommed happily on a 3 Musketeers bar.  She even managed to learn to say "Happy Ween!"  Tantrums were averted, the costume remained in one piece (hers did anyway; my pirate sword broke, curses!), and she got to bed at the standard time despite the constant ringing of our doorbell.  All in all, a success!

Kid wasn't scared on entering mouth of the beast -- she has Gabba power to protect her.

"Kangy, mmmm" *blows kiss/thank you*

Huge thanks to the lovely people of our neighborhood, who were so nice to our kid.  And Hubs and I totally appreciate the candy -- we know none of you were fooled by our 16 month old front.  The evening was finished up with pumpkin beer, mini Snickers bars, and the Slutty Pumpkin.  Honestly?  I infinitely prefer this to the days of Halloween parties in bars, dressed like Joel from Risky Business.  Although maybe next year I dig out that old costume in attempt to teach HD the splendor that is Bob Seger.

Pastimes of Yore ( or, "I Need a Hobby")

The weather's been gorgeous lately, so the daughter went for a romp the last weekend in a cold park fountain.  Watching HD's joyful abandon over running in gushing water...it makes my heart sing.  And I'll be honest, it also makes me a wee jealous.  It reminds me of that part in Knocked Up when Paul Rudd's character is watching his kids in the park, and he comments that he wished he enjoyed anything as much as his kids enjoy bubbles.  He obviously loves his kids, but he knows he needs something in his life that's just his own.

So Hubs and I have instituted taking every other Saturday morning off.  One of us spends quality time with HD, and the other one gets to do whatever he/she wants (sleep, errands, workout, laze about and watch tv).  Today's my morning off -- I'm thinking this could could be the perfect time to start dusting off old hobbies, or cultivate a new one.

A Mare Over a Schooner (or, "Even Pirates Say 'Wheeee!'")

My bro and I used to ride this rocking horse when we were kids.  I'm not the biggest advocate of saving everything from childhood, but I'm super glad that my HD has this thing (thanks heaps to my sentimental Daddy!).  Apparently, so is she:

Apologies for the tiny video; it's from Hubs's iPhone.  Oh, and that little sound byte at the end there?  HD is blowing her lips out ("ppppllllllltttttpppp") which is her horse sound.  I mean, obviously.

But seriously, pirates love horses as much as cowboys love boats.  Just ask Lyle Lovett.

Jargon o' the Seas (or, "HD Talking")

We have video!  Here's a tidbit of showing off some of her verbal skills, as well as her keen fashion sense:

Our kid is a complete chatterbox.  Like lots of little kids, she'll have entire one-sided conversations of gobble-degook with occasional real words thrown in.  I'd say it's been more fun than frustrating trying to decipher her meaning.  Especially when she cracks herself up learning a new word:

A small sampling of words to date:

puppy
Daddy
Mama
"mommy" = edamame (HD gets really confused when people refer to me as "mommy" -- to her, that means "tasty little soy bean" not "lady who provides for me")
dirt
"nana" = banana
apple
"butta-bye" = butterfly and/or peanut butter (unless my kid keeps requesting moths spread on crackers...hm)
"ca-kah" = cracker or bread
vegetable (this one actually sounds like the real word, which slays me)
turtle
"fee"  = fish
"bea" = bear
"Happy" = Harper

Avast! It Be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

All abandon hope; ye who enter here.  Me first mate will celebrate by shooting daggers with her eyes. Now dance the hornpipe smartly, me beauties!  OR ELSE.

Fire on Deck (or, "Coolest Toy Ever")

My super duper aunt and uncle got HD the coolest gift ever last Christmas.  A full-on vintage style metal fire truck for her to ride around, complete with bicycle pedals, clanging bell with pulley, and detachable mini wooden ladders.  Seriously amazing -- it's the kind of thing you see in photos of little kids in the 1940s.  Only problem was that, at age 6 months, it was a tad beyond her capabilities at the time (despite the fact that HD is devastatingly advanced and mature for her age, naturally).

It's so very shiny.

But this past weekend to celebrate her 15 month birthaversary, we busted it out.

And it was GLORIOUS.  My girl is so on board with tools and rescue missions.  Make-a me proud!

HD got a lesson in wrench-handling from Daddy

Kid is totally ready to save the day

Piratical Nonsense (or, "Grateful")

Ah, the eyelashes

I think everyone has moments of wishing that you lived somewhere else, even for a bit.  We all fantasize about visiting a particular place and (definitely) glamorize said place.  Don't you have places or times or situations that you love to inhabit again and again in books, movies, or just your imagination?  [Me?  Pirating and Caribbean port towns aside, I am totally into Regency period England, modern-day New Orleans, and NYC circa 1980 when punk was on the way out and new wave was on the rise.  And that's just a drop in the bucket.]

And then it occurs to you -- wow, the people of New Orleans have no idea that I find their world so compelling.  I don't think any average citizen of NOLA (still dealing with Katrina and oil spill aftermath) is currently wondering if some random woman out in California is slowly becoming entranced by his city's history/music/food and planning a future visit.  The everyday culture of his world is simply a given, along with the problems that go with it.  Nothing enviable about that.  Why would someone removed from that reality fantasize about it?

Enraptured by Yo Gabba Gabba

So of course it's even more surreal when you realize that there's a flip side to that coin.  What if I'm the one inhabiting a world that someone fantisizes about?  What if someone is thinking longingly, "Man, I wish I was married to my dead sexy best friend; had a crazy, brilliant, HEALTHY, funny little girl; worked a steady job; lived in a safe, (relatively) clean home; and was still able to occasionally see awesome friends and family...".  When I think of it in that context, I realize that the mortgage, the commute, the bouts of teething and 1000 other little stresses are not as all-consuming as I sometimes make them out to be.  That I am one insanely lucky pirate.  



Enjoying one of the last bottles before we give 'em up for good!



Thoughts like that are also what motivate me to start saying nightly prayers with HD.  I hope that Hubs and I are able to instill in her a sense of gratitude for all we're given, as well as a good work ethic to try and keep it.   



Eating "cack-ahs" (crackers) and "butta-butta bye" (peanut butter, but it also means butterfly?)



Unfolded laundry aside, I heart this pic.  HD sorta looks like a Beatle

Blocks and Rowdy, HD's partner-in-crime

Sailing Solo, Part the Dos (or, "Mama Hits the Road")

This weekend, I'll be hitting the flipside of my previous Sailing Solo post.  This time, I won't be the single parent at home with le bebe.  Rather, jetting to bee-yoo-tiful San Diego for a girls' weekend with old college buddies. 

There's been a lot of inner strife over this, y'all.  As a fulltime working mama, I spend a max of 4 hours of waking face time with my kid each weekday (during which I'm also supposed to get us both dressed, bathed, and fed).  I don't mind that I have to work, and I like getting the adult interaction each day.  But I do relish a weekend of simple park hopping, games of chase, morning stroller runs to Starbucks, and picking flowers with my daughter.  I love spending time with Hubs and HD.  They're fun people, and I definitely feel that in the hustle and bustle of life, we have to slow down and remember to hang together, minus the TV.

But.  Like all mamas since time began, I have to stop and actually, literally, remind myself that it's ok to do something that's just for me.  Something that has absolutely nothing to do with Hubs or HD.  That ultimately, a mama who knows how to be an individual is a good thing for her kid.  You know, so I (a) teach her how to be a strong, independent woman and (b) don't freak out in a couple of years when the kid starts to desire a life of her own and I don't know what to do with myself.  Not to mention the fact that Hubs is HD's numero uno, and I know they'll have a blast together without any mama interventions.

So bring on the Coronitas, the sun, the adult feminine chit chat.  I'm ready.  I may even manage to keep it down to one phone call to the fam per day, and one teeny kid gift in my carry-on.  Hubs will be repaid by having Sunday evening to himself and his scotch. 

We interrupt this tirade to announce that my baby brother and brand new sister-in-law had the Funnest Wedding Ever last weekend.  And this terrible mother adores her in-laws for taking the baby so we could enjoy every last bit of it kid-free (besides, parents need nights off together to remember why they're married, right?).  *Muah* to both families!

Sailing Solo (or, "The Weekend of the Single Parent")

Last weekend was my first full weekend as a single parent (Hubs was in the Vegas for his bro's bachelor party...don't worry, I dispense comeuppance in two weeks when I jet to San Diego for a bachelorette!).  Things I learned:


HD, helpfully "brushing" her own teeth (i.e. teething on the rubber finger grip thing) 

• Group mentality ("takes a village to raise a child") does not necessarily apply to people who have kids that are grown.  HD and I went to a former co-workers' house for a BBQ.  After an hour, he looked at my plate and wanted to know why I wasn't eating.  He asked me this while I was running after HD, trying to thwart her attempts to nom on their lovely flowerbeds.  I just laughed in response (God bless his wife, who took over Toddler Watch for a good 40 minutes).
• Yo Gabba Gabba is AMAZING.  It's also kind of the devil.  Great learning for tiny kids, cool music, definitely dance-inspiring (HD's moves consist of bobbing up and down and waving her hands).  We watched a grand total of 2 episodes broken into a few sessions throughout the weekend.  HD is now mildly obsessed, and there are non-stop requests for "gabby gabby."  We're attempting to keep it to 2 episodes a week.  [HD says "we'll see".]
• Single parenting is the best diet ever.
• If you get the laundry done, you sort of by proxy consider the rest of your house to be clean as well.  Clean undies = (practically) vacuumed floor.

I may have forgotten a couple of parenting steps in my attempt to keep her happy all by my lonesome.

Ye Piratical Nature of Me First Matey (or, "Ways My Daughter Is Actually Like a Pirate")

 I submit the following as evidence that HD is, in fact, my child:

• Obsessed with mermaids (or, "mimis" as she calls them)
• Loves shiny jewelry/baubles
• Laughs when she inflicts pain (hair pulling, pinching, the occasional nibble or flailing kicks?  all hilarious when they land upon a parent!  needless to say, we're working on boundaries...)
• Hits the bottle multiple times a day
• Leaves a complete path of pillaged destruction in her wake (we're also working on the concept of putting things away)

Yonder Bermuda Triange (or, "Why Did I Disappear for 3 Weeks?")

There was just too much fun going on the past couple of weeks since I've last written.  Let's do a quick catch-up and get down to kid cuteness, shall we?

A Southern lady-in-training, complete with smocked seersucker and halo.

1.  Vacay to my favorite port town: Charleston, SC.  I'm lucky enough to have folks that live in this awesome city part-time, so we get a free place to crash and free babysitting to boot!  Highlights of the trip were HD's trip to the South Carolina Aquarium (at present time, she deems any land mammal a "puppy" and any water-faring beasite is a "tuh-tuh" -- turtle), LOTS of beach frolicking at Sullivan's Island and Folly Beach (the warm water plants me firmly on Team Atlantic -- take that, majestic beauty of the freezing Pacific!), my father getting me slightly overserved, and HD got to meet her great grandfather and great Aunt Barbara :)

Pop, Mammy (Admiral Granmadre!), HD, and the Cap'n -- 4 generations of devious.

Our first all-looking-at-the-camera, all-smiling family portrait!  At happy hour, no less!

Sandpaper Pappy and HD in Waterfront Park, post-dip in the Pineapple Fountain.

Wind and hilarity at Folly Beach!

 2.  Last weekend we went to our first wedding of 2011 in a very cute winery...and it'll be a busy year on the wedding front.  I get 2 sisters-in-law this year, people.  Incidentally, we're not planning on taking HD to any of the weddings, unless the couple just really wants her there.  Any reader thoughts on this?  Hubs and I look at it as a date day for ourselves to be full dancing/drinking adults (in HD's lifetime, this has only occurred when we're at weddings!), not to mention that toddlers and Catholic ceremonies aren't very compatible.  Besides, HD will prolly have way more fun playing with her grandparents than being shushed in a church.    

3.  The institution of Workout Wednesdays.  Neither Hubs nor I are trying to lose any weight, but we do want increased energy to run after a toddler, plus the strength to man-handle her effectively.  So we've  begun working out together one day a week after she goes to bed -- a Jillean Michaels DVD here, some Netflix Watch Instantly pilates classes there (yup, I LOVE that Hubs is secure enough to give pilates a go...and he liked it!).  We're adding in a second weekday in August, and then committing to a weekend day by September.  Baby steps for couch potatoes, folks.

4.  Hubs started a new job!  He now works about 3 miles from our house, instead of 20.  This new lack of commute was especially awesome yesterday, when I was so enthralled in my book that I completely missed my normal train stop on the way home.  I have always vaguely assumed this would happen one day.  Which meant I ended up 2 entire towns south of where my car was parked.  Hubs busted a gut laughing on the phone, then lovingly came to retrieve my stranded ass 15 minutes later so we could pick up HD on time from daycare.  I'm a lucky lady.
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With our catch-up out of the way, here's all news HD.  Kid is running around all over the place now, usually with as much grace as a wino.  It's adorable.  Per her daycare provider, she is also now officially a flirt.  One little boy kissed her goodbye after I had strapped her into her car seat, but apparently she likes to sidle up to a different boy regularly to bat her eyes and whisper "hi."  Once she's able to speak in full sentences, I imagine she'll break all sorts of hearts.  In addition to HD's array of animal sounds (horses have been added to that list), she can now point out a bunch of her body parts as well.  She's particularly proud of showing off her round "nummy" after a meal.  HD now is ridin' dirty in a big kid car seat (rear facing of course!) and we retired the infant car seat she first came home in almost 14 months ago.  Finally, Hubs and I are in the super fun process of starting to wean away the bottle.  Our opinionated little miss, who gave up the boob and pacifiers with minimal issues or fuss, has made it clear that a "baba" of milk is her one true love.  She has zero problems with cups as long as they contain water or juice.  Recommendations for process as welcome!

Our daughter, a sucker for the bottle.