The Kracken (or, "The Creature from Hell that We'll Refer to as Last Week")

You know those weeks when every little stupid stress in your life compounds into the perfect maelstrom?  When the normal (and normally manageable) little roadblocks pile up to the point that you're suddenly slamming into a wall rather than climbing over the rough patch?  To the point where ever your metaphors for those weeks are overly worked because your brain's been on hyperdrive for way too long?

Yup, we just came off one of them weeks.

Like I (tried to) say, if you take the following items individually, you can handle what life throws at you.  But throw them all into the same 5 day stretch, and you've got a Type A gal like myself cowering in a corner each night with a loaded bowl of ice cream as her only source of solace.  Exhibit A?  HD came down with a fever last Monday night.  Keep in mind that she's never had anything more than a cold, so her dumbass parents take a good 15 minutes to figure out the baby thermometers we had on hand.  Oh, and STILL didn't use them correctly until my lovely mother-in-law (a former nurse) showed us how 2 days later.  No other major symptoms, just massive fever spike every 4-6 hours.  HD's out from daycare the rest of the week, leaving us scrambling for care (in-laws for the win, holla!!!) and poor Hubs trying keep me from her in case she was contagious, since fevers + pregnancy are a huge no-no.  Hubs was the true hero of the week, shouldering a major burden of doc appointments, easing night sweats, and carrying around our very fussy little girl.

Oh yeah, so couple all that with the fact that Oct-Nov is the absolute worst time of year for me at work. Y'all know about benefits open enrollment season at your employer?  The period of several weeks where you can make any changes to your health benefits through your company?  Well, I'm solely responsible for making that magic happen for about 600 employees each year.  In addition to trying to plan for my upcoming maternity leave.  Being the sole benefits rep on the whole HR team, I've been trying to train some co-workers in how to keep up compliant with all federal and state benefits and leave of absence laws for the 3 months I'll be gone (starting from a level 0 knowledge base).  It's a picnic, let me tell you, especially when you already feel like the worst parent ever for not being able to help take care of your kid.

And in the midst of all this, we thought it would be super fun to try to paint the new baby's room.  Ha.  Ha ha ha.

Several doctor visits and 4 days later, we have a categorized urinary tract infection on our hands.  The good news?  Well, she wasn't contagious and we didn't have to worry about baby 2 in ute getting sick too.  Bad news?  Hubs and I felt horrendous -- frigging parents of the century for dealing with something that should be preventable.  The doc mercifully wouldn't let us beat ourselves up about it.  HD was one of the wackadoo cases that exhibit no symptoms other than fever.  Anyway, we were finally able to get her some antibiotics last weekend, and she's been her old self ever since.

Lessons learned?

• Hubs is the best partner ever (I already knew this, but it was further proof), a true champ.
• UTIs are not just for folks having lots of sex in their 20s.
• It is scary when your kid gets sick and you don't know what's up, even if you know she's going to be fine.  In 2.5 years, we've never experienced more than a cold with HD.  
• Holy crap, 2 kids sick at the same time is going to make me want to hide under the covers.  
• We're not bad parents, even when it feels that way.  We didn't idle, waiting around for HD to magically get better without seeing the doc.  But we also didn't needlessly freak out and jump to OMGhospitalnow type conclusions.  We comforted her as best we could, and it worked.  And didn't utterly ruin her tiny lady bits in the process.

Portrait Finale! (or, "End of Photo Project")

Ta da!  End of the month = end of the photo project.  Here's what happened this past week:

• a fave photo of you -- this is probably the coolest spontaneous shot that our wedding photog took nearly 3 years ago.  It's up on our dining room wall, one of the prominently displayed wedding shots in our house.  Soooo much more "us" than all the posed line-up pics that were taken outside the church!
• where you work -- "the largest and most influential grassroots environmental organization in the United States."  This is my extremely battered membership card.  Represent!!
• your shoes -- I actually wore heels to work that day, but since I walk over a mile between the train station and the office I brought my new Tieks (pictured) along.  Hubs's company gave out gift certificates for these shoes as gifts at the corporate holiday party.  SCORE.
• inside your bathroom cabinet -- not room for much other than some toothbrushes (inc. the mini one for HD)
• green -- my brother and I had a blast on Saturday taking HD to the park and local library.  Green swing set, green trees, green jacket.  Seemed right to me!
• night -- this former LA girl is still a sucker for the Oscars, despite the fact that I never have time to see more than 1-2 of the nominated flicks anymore.  I think my obsession is less about the speeches and clothes...and more about the fact that I'm pretty excellent at making Oscar picks (it's all about knowing the Academy's politics, which I'm a bit ashamed to say isn't hard to pick up).  Guess what I did all Sunday night after HD went to bed?
• something you ate -- second time this topic was on the monthly list.  This is one of my favorite home desserts: vanilla ice cream, lots of chocolate sauce, and dry roasted peanuts sprinkled on top.  The perfect salty-sweet, and still good even if the IC and syrup are low fat :)
• money -- in an effort to pretend I have some, here's a glimpse at my wallet.
• something you're listening to -- this was today's shot.  And I was extremely tempted to put in a pic of HD screaming with gumdrop sized tears and snot obscuring her face.  Let's just say that teething incisors makes for a pint-sized drama queen.  But I spared myself the agony of trying to get that shot, and focused on my refuge (iPod) instead.  Play on, Zeppelin.

Have I mentioned my recent obsession with the older model of Fisher Price Little People recently?  These are the ones that any person who was a kid in the 60s-90s will remember.  Apparently they were deemed a choking hazard after 40 years in production, and the new models are a but more...rotund.  I scooped up some of the oldies on eBay and HD is IN LOVE.

Portraits of a February, Thriceover (or, "Photo Project 3")

Welcome to another glimpse into daily life of the DP Mama!  We have photos from my once a day photo project at the ready, for Sunday Feb 12 - Monday Feb 20.  Let's have at it.  Explanations and daily topics are below the photos.  Please excuse the haphazard formatting.

• Inside Your Closet - a close up of some of my fave items.  You didn't really expect to get a full shot of my bedroom's designated disaster space, did you?
• Blue - HD, wearing blue henley and cardigan.  Whenever we put either of these items on her, she insists that she's "blue like Toodee."
• Heart - apropos topic, as it was Valentine's Day.  Hubs and I have never gone out on V-Day, not even in our dating days.  We've always stayed in to cook together.  We made sea scallops with bacon and spinach...the heart is the bacon bits :)
• Phone - HD's Fisher Price phone, courtesy of the Grand Admiral Madre.  It was hanging out in her room next to her fairy door.  [Sidenote, HD loves to knock on this door and try to ask her resident fairy, Elizabeth, to come out.  I've explained to her that Elizabeth is nocturnal, so HD inevitably whispers "sleeping" whenever Elizabeth does not appear during the day to the knocking.]
• Something New - Hubs and I decided that our big present to each other for the holidays would be to attempt some decorating in our bedroom.  You know, make it a space that isn't a haven for baby toys and story books with a bed in the middle.  So all the pillows in the photo below are new-ish, but the headboard is all of a week old.  West Elm is my fave, and totally affordable when they have sales and you cash out credit card points to get gift certificates to the store!
• Time - best depicted by my always full calendar work planner.
• Drink - on Saturday, Hubs went out with a friend.  Once HD was asleep, I enjoyed a bit of scotch.  Nom.
• Something You Hate to Do - potty training.  HD's totally cool with using her potty, but she's still not so adept at always telling us when she has to (but she's getting there!).  Which means to avoid accidents, we basically take her into the bathroom every chance we get.  DP Mama's lower back is not loving sitting on that cold tile to read Green Eggs & Ham for the 12th time that afternoon.
• Something You Ate - who says Panda Express doesn't have healthy options?

Portraits Revisited (or, "Photo Project 2")

And for week 2 of my one photo a day month...Here are the daily topics from Sunday, Feb 5 (kind of) through Saturday, Feb 11:

- 10am (I forgot to take the photo last Sunday!  Which would have probably been a pic of HD on the potty, so you're welcome on being spared that sight. You have Monday morning at my desk in the office instead.)
- dinner (awesome Hubs made a pizza with pine nuts when I wasn't feeling well.  And yes, he made the pizza.  No frozen ingredients whatsoever.  My hero.)
- button (courtesy of my cardigan and coat)
- sun (another make up pic from the next day. I was home with a sick HD on Wed so I snapped this shot of a building near my office on Thurs)
- front door (Hubs was home with sick HD this day,  and they came to meet me when I arrived home.  Nothing makes a working woman happier than that.)
- self portrait (note the tired/stressed tension in facial lines.  I was once an actress, but that's hard to fake with such accuracy unless you're Meryl.)
- makes you happy (napping kid definitely qualifies)

In case you can't tell, I'm having tons of fun playing with the photo effects, playing up various colors and lighting and faux old-timey qualities.  That's it for this week! More to come...

Chamber Pots and Wee Ditties (or, "Things the Kid Does at 18 Months")

I've loved being home with the kid the past 2 weeks.  It's been a cool way to test out the stay-at-home Mama thing.  Plus, she's grown up so much in this brief time.  We've started potty training, and had our first success on New Year's Day (trust me, it was way thrilling).  Don't worry, I promise not to get much more detailed than that.  But to any mama readers who are interested, we've been working off the book Diaper-Free Before 3.  HD particularly loves Pirate Potty, Once Upon a Potty, and Potty.   

Also, we've been having all sorts of full on conversations with each other.  Granted, they're mostly about either the time we spent outside earlier that day or the desire to spend more time outside.  But we also have heated debates about the nature of the musical influences behind Yo Gabba Gabba, so that's been pretty stimulating (for me, anyway).  And the dancing!  Still working on catching that one on vid, but I have been thrilled to bop around the house with HD instead of following her with a camera.

And of course, there's the constant singing.  Enjoy a sample:

This Annum Needs to be Keelhauled (or, "Finally, the End of 2011")

The past few years have been a complete whirlwind.  Witness the following:

• 2008 -- The year Hubs (who was not-yet-Hubs back then) and I each moved from LA to San Francisco and started new career paths.  We also got engaged and started making a (teeny-tiny rented) home together.
• 2009 -- We married, we traveled, and we decided to start a family.  We also started the super-duper-amazing-I-mean-no-it-sucks-shoot-me-now process of house hunting.
• 2010 -- On New Years Day, we placed an offer on a beautiful Victorian house (20 miles south of our old apartment).  It was accepted, and we moved from the city to the 'burbs to become real mortgage-paying homeowners.  Hubs did a ton of travel for work; I got a promotion.  And of course, we became parents to the awesomest kid on the planet.  It was sort of a monster year for being thrust face first into adulthood.

So on New Years 2011, Hubs and I decided that we had had enough change to last us for awhile.  We said that our resolution was that 2011 would be the calmest year ever.  Keep it nice and easy, just work on our house, do our jobs as well as always, and have fun being parents and learning about our new town.  Apparently, God thought that was pretty funny.  And life continued to happen, you know, as it does.  

This year has had plenty of good, and definitely some bad.  It sure as hell threw a lot more change our way than we anticipated.    Another unexpected promotion, a new job for Hubs (so grateful and amazed that I can say both of those things in this economy).  Both of our brothers got married, bringing two awesome ladies into our family.  Our teeny gurgley baby became a walking, talking, hilarious drama queen.  We had a health scare that rocked our little family, and we managed to come out ok on the other side.  It's all been a lot more stress than we counted on.  But it was never, ever more than we could handle.  Every bit of it has made us stronger as a family.  And despite any anxieties we faced, we have a pretty good life.

With that, I can safely say that we have no resolutions for 2012.  Just goals and hopes.  To do everything we can to stay healthy, to strive for kindness, to be a good example for the kid, and to have fun.  Oh, and to blog more :)

Hope 2011 taught you all as much as it taught us.  Here's to a bright, shiny, unblemished new year!  Bring it, 2012!  

(And now, for a completely random video)

Roguish Desires (or, "I Like Stuff")

I don't exactly consider myself a tastemaker. I'm usually in that last tier of folks who hear about whatever internet/tech trends are going on.  I primarily listen to music from the 1970s (honest to God, I'm still trying to figure out who Bruno Mars is).  And my fashion sense is probably more Annie Hall than Olivia Palermo (ooh, did I just reference someone who's actually semi-recent?!).  But, boy, I do love getting all bossy and giving unsolicited advice.  So on that note, here's the things this week that I adore, and you should too:

• Giada's Winter Minestrone Soup.  Holy mackerel, is this stuff tasty.  It's garlicky, slightly smokey from the pancetta, and chock full of delicious and healthy veggies.  Serve with a hunk of bread and you are all set.  Plus, the reruns of this soup are even better since the tastes have melded even more.  Although, I suppose that's true of most soups.  Anyway, I demand you make this one immediately. But only if you send me some because I'm almost out of my supply.
• Our country's men and women in the armed forces.  Sure I'm thinking of this because it's Veteran's Day later this week.  But these folks (AND their families!!!) deserve to be thanked every repeatedly and often.  Not everyone in the military or national guard fully agrees with the politics of this country -- hell, how many of you agree with every choice your employer makes?  Yet they serve strong and proud because it's their job.  Please, please make it a point to say "hey, thank you for what you do" to anyone you know who's serving or has served, or even to any stranger you see in uniform.  I promise you it really does mean a lot to them, and that they do not hear it enough.  Stepping down off the soap box now.
• Kids toys from Ikea.  Their stuff is all about creative play (lots of puppets, art supplies, play kitchens and tools, doctor sets).  It's colorful, durable, and cute.  And it's gloriously inexpensive.  I'm well on my way to having HD's Christmas all planned out and under budget, not to mention battery free.  Tack så mycket, Ikea!
• To all those folks who get amped over the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte...well, yes, I like them too.  But I go completely bonkers for Trader Joe's spiced cider.  It's made from whole, pressed apples and pre-marinated with all that lovely cinnamon/all-spice/orange rind.  All you have to do is heat.  And it's only $2.99!!  This single product takes a company that I adore and projects them into the stratosphere.  Especially if paired with some gingerbread (as made by their mix from a box).
• Working out and getting my Mardi Gras fix all at the same time.  (Although, Jasleen, I totally miss doing the Bollywood dance with you!)
• Old Navy kids' clothes, particularly this awesome sweatshirty jacket thing.  Old Navy peeps -- pretty please make one in my size?

Piratical Nonsense (or, "Grateful")

Ah, the eyelashes

I think everyone has moments of wishing that you lived somewhere else, even for a bit.  We all fantasize about visiting a particular place and (definitely) glamorize said place.  Don't you have places or times or situations that you love to inhabit again and again in books, movies, or just your imagination?  [Me?  Pirating and Caribbean port towns aside, I am totally into Regency period England, modern-day New Orleans, and NYC circa 1980 when punk was on the way out and new wave was on the rise.  And that's just a drop in the bucket.]

And then it occurs to you -- wow, the people of New Orleans have no idea that I find their world so compelling.  I don't think any average citizen of NOLA (still dealing with Katrina and oil spill aftermath) is currently wondering if some random woman out in California is slowly becoming entranced by his city's history/music/food and planning a future visit.  The everyday culture of his world is simply a given, along with the problems that go with it.  Nothing enviable about that.  Why would someone removed from that reality fantasize about it?

Enraptured by Yo Gabba Gabba

So of course it's even more surreal when you realize that there's a flip side to that coin.  What if I'm the one inhabiting a world that someone fantisizes about?  What if someone is thinking longingly, "Man, I wish I was married to my dead sexy best friend; had a crazy, brilliant, HEALTHY, funny little girl; worked a steady job; lived in a safe, (relatively) clean home; and was still able to occasionally see awesome friends and family...".  When I think of it in that context, I realize that the mortgage, the commute, the bouts of teething and 1000 other little stresses are not as all-consuming as I sometimes make them out to be.  That I am one insanely lucky pirate.  



Enjoying one of the last bottles before we give 'em up for good!



Thoughts like that are also what motivate me to start saying nightly prayers with HD.  I hope that Hubs and I are able to instill in her a sense of gratitude for all we're given, as well as a good work ethic to try and keep it.   



Eating "cack-ahs" (crackers) and "butta-butta bye" (peanut butter, but it also means butterfly?)



Unfolded laundry aside, I heart this pic.  HD sorta looks like a Beatle

Blocks and Rowdy, HD's partner-in-crime

Sailing Solo, Part the Dos (or, "Mama Hits the Road")

This weekend, I'll be hitting the flipside of my previous Sailing Solo post.  This time, I won't be the single parent at home with le bebe.  Rather, jetting to bee-yoo-tiful San Diego for a girls' weekend with old college buddies. 

There's been a lot of inner strife over this, y'all.  As a fulltime working mama, I spend a max of 4 hours of waking face time with my kid each weekday (during which I'm also supposed to get us both dressed, bathed, and fed).  I don't mind that I have to work, and I like getting the adult interaction each day.  But I do relish a weekend of simple park hopping, games of chase, morning stroller runs to Starbucks, and picking flowers with my daughter.  I love spending time with Hubs and HD.  They're fun people, and I definitely feel that in the hustle and bustle of life, we have to slow down and remember to hang together, minus the TV.

But.  Like all mamas since time began, I have to stop and actually, literally, remind myself that it's ok to do something that's just for me.  Something that has absolutely nothing to do with Hubs or HD.  That ultimately, a mama who knows how to be an individual is a good thing for her kid.  You know, so I (a) teach her how to be a strong, independent woman and (b) don't freak out in a couple of years when the kid starts to desire a life of her own and I don't know what to do with myself.  Not to mention the fact that Hubs is HD's numero uno, and I know they'll have a blast together without any mama interventions.

So bring on the Coronitas, the sun, the adult feminine chit chat.  I'm ready.  I may even manage to keep it down to one phone call to the fam per day, and one teeny kid gift in my carry-on.  Hubs will be repaid by having Sunday evening to himself and his scotch. 

We interrupt this tirade to announce that my baby brother and brand new sister-in-law had the Funnest Wedding Ever last weekend.  And this terrible mother adores her in-laws for taking the baby so we could enjoy every last bit of it kid-free (besides, parents need nights off together to remember why they're married, right?).  *Muah* to both families!

Sailing Solo (or, "The Weekend of the Single Parent")

Last weekend was my first full weekend as a single parent (Hubs was in the Vegas for his bro's bachelor party...don't worry, I dispense comeuppance in two weeks when I jet to San Diego for a bachelorette!).  Things I learned:


HD, helpfully "brushing" her own teeth (i.e. teething on the rubber finger grip thing) 

• Group mentality ("takes a village to raise a child") does not necessarily apply to people who have kids that are grown.  HD and I went to a former co-workers' house for a BBQ.  After an hour, he looked at my plate and wanted to know why I wasn't eating.  He asked me this while I was running after HD, trying to thwart her attempts to nom on their lovely flowerbeds.  I just laughed in response (God bless his wife, who took over Toddler Watch for a good 40 minutes).
• Yo Gabba Gabba is AMAZING.  It's also kind of the devil.  Great learning for tiny kids, cool music, definitely dance-inspiring (HD's moves consist of bobbing up and down and waving her hands).  We watched a grand total of 2 episodes broken into a few sessions throughout the weekend.  HD is now mildly obsessed, and there are non-stop requests for "gabby gabby."  We're attempting to keep it to 2 episodes a week.  [HD says "we'll see".]
• Single parenting is the best diet ever.
• If you get the laundry done, you sort of by proxy consider the rest of your house to be clean as well.  Clean undies = (practically) vacuumed floor.

I may have forgotten a couple of parenting steps in my attempt to keep her happy all by my lonesome.

Doppelganger Cap'n Madre (or, "Guess What Celebrity My Daughter Thinks Is Me?")

HD's favorite activity of the moment is pulling out one of our boxes of DVDs and strewing them about.  She rifles through them, showing an odd favoritism for Crunch Fitness Fat Blasting Dance Workout.  That is, until she discovered her new favorite...

Portraits of a First Mate (or, "A Few Photos")

For once, visual only post.  Enjoy! :)

Pillagin' and Plunderin' (or, "Yes, I Am a Full-Time Working Mama")

Once upon a time, way back in 2008, I was on a very specific career path.  I worked with fun people and made a commission.  I got to travel and had an expense account.  I was good at what I did and was promoted and placed with high-profile clients accordingly.  Yet the entire time I was on that path, I had a sneaking, hidden suspicion that it just wasn't for me.  It took me a few years to realize that I was working in a job like that because I thought it was what I was supposed to do.  Degree from top university + prestigious corporate training program + non-stop schmoozy career = Success.  Friends, travel, building a family of my own could all be worked in around that eventually.

Don't get me wrong -- it does work that way for some people, people I actually know in real life.  That equation does make others happy.  But I wasn't.  So when I decided to start building a life with Hubs I not only moved to a new city, but I also completely switched up my career.  I took a job in HR (arguably one of the more thankless career paths in the working world) at a non-profit (definitely less than I was making before, but I believe in the cause!!).  No, I didn't do it to be a martyr or give my former corporate existence the middle finger.  There were lots of reasons for rebooting my career -- and the absolute biggest one was that this job allows me to separate my work and personal lives.

There are all sorts of studies about Generation Y and their (our) work ethic.  My favorite perception of my generation is that apparently, none of us believe in work-life balance.  That is, we're so plugged in to our smart phones and so amped to telecommute that work-life is a seamless state; there's no one or the other.  Supposedly, we're all drafting corporate memos on our iPhones while we're out at happy hour.  I call bull-honky, as I ostensibly am the complete opposite of what some Boomer psychologist says I'm supposed to be.  As soon as I log off my work computer, I am done.  I work very hard when I'm in the office, but the second I'm out the door I'm in full Mama-mode.  My train commute consists of making grocery lists, searching for baby food recipes on my smart phone (take that, corporate email!), and getting in a blessed 30 minutes of a novel (ah, glorious Me Time).  The second I get home, I am playing with, feeding, bathing, and comforting my baby and attempting to be an attentive wife.  Who has freaking time to work from home?

This week, I got another promotion.  When my boss broached the topic, I had two simultaneous thoughts: 1) "Ooh!  More money for HD's college fund!" and 2) "There's no way I can work more hours; I'd never see my kid."  Luckily, the hours will remain the same.  And no one's giving me a Blackberry any time soon.

Huzzah!