Ye Piratical Nature of Me First Matey (or, "Ways My Daughter Is Actually Like a Pirate")

 I submit the following as evidence that HD is, in fact, my child:

• Obsessed with mermaids (or, "mimis" as she calls them)
• Loves shiny jewelry/baubles
• Laughs when she inflicts pain (hair pulling, pinching, the occasional nibble or flailing kicks?  all hilarious when they land upon a parent!  needless to say, we're working on boundaries...)
• Hits the bottle multiple times a day
• Leaves a complete path of pillaged destruction in her wake (we're also working on the concept of putting things away)

Avast, Ye Scurvy Dog! (or, "HD Wants a Poochie")

HD seriously loves dogs.  She squeals every time a poochie walks by when we're on walks.  She adores her daycare provider's puppy.  She even laughs over and reaches for my parents' dog, despite Mikey's completely cold and growly nature towards HD (she kind of unseats him from his place of glory in my parents' home when we visit).  HD's most beloved toy-of-the-moment is Pink Poochie -- a stuffed dog, naturally.

Hubs didn't grow up with pets.  My family is a sucker for lost cause dogs (the second we hear a dog's in danger of being put down, the dog comes home with us).  My new little family doesn't currently include a dog, but Hubs has known since our dating days that it's only a matter of time.  As a gag wedding gift, my uncle got us a dog mannequin from Nordstrom.  It took a lot of rangling with a salesclerk to make that happen.  His name is Rowdy.  HD is convinced he's real.