Impending Second Mate (or," Thoughts on a Second Pregnancy")

Dear Readers,

My apologies for the extreme lack of summer postings.  Important things such as vacations and Breaking Bad viewing really got in the way of nighttime writing.  That, and the whole exhaustion of my first trimester of my second pregnancy.  That's right -- we're expecting a son around mid-January and HD already calls him George Harrison (no, we're not going to actually name him that).  Which means my belly?  May contain a genius Hindu rhythm guitarist.  Anyway, that about catches you up to speed!  Here are some of the thoughts that have been running around in my head about this for the past few months.

• I suppose it's because I know what to expect this time around, but I feel way more pregnant at a way earlier point this time around.  When I was only 18 weeks in (that's 4.5 months for those in a non-preggo mindset) and I was already all, "Ugh, my hips...bleh, I can't sleep...wah wah wah."  Extra whiny, which you know Hubs loves.

• Everything folks say about how you are way less uptight with a second child?  Well, it's true and it starts very early on.  I'm so much more laid back with this pregnancy.  Lifting a 27 pound child without a second thought, chowing on smoked salmon and bleu cheese dressing despite dire warnings from every pregnancy website, etc.  Sort of relieved to not be so stressed about doing everything perfectly by the book this time around.

• Not only did I apparently stain all my previous tops/dresses and not realize it til now, but I'm completely over maternity clothes very early on.  Too expensive, and/or too freaking dowdy.  I look and feel much better in regular clothes.  I'm just buying a size or two up and working it (note -- this only works with tops and dresses).  Only cheap brands or sale clothing need apply, the looser and longer the cut, the better.  I have the feeling I'll appreciate this decision more post pregnancy when I'm attempting to work off the leftover chunkiness.

• Weirdly gravitated towards purple all summer with random stuff we needed to buy.  Lilac and plum new bedding for HD's new big girl bedroom.  Bought a new bathing suit for myself in "brilliant purple."  Violet tennis dress for HD.  Grape colored tennis shoes are now in her closet.  According to my mother (a former psych nurse), schizophrenics are drawn to purple.  Not sure what that indicates about this little baby of mine, but I prefer thinking that George Harrison just thinks lots of royal thoughts.

• Are we doing a maternity photo shoot this time around?  I counter that question with another -- are you crazy?  I fall in the camp of preggos who don't love having their photo taken.  It doesn't matter how I actually look to the outside world, I feel the size of a mack truck.  Pear-shaped body, cellulite, and bags under my eyes were already my biggest body insecurities, but they're magnetized 18-fold by pregnancy.  I don't care to commemorate them for all time, even if peasant dresses and flower crowns would make me feel prettier.  Also?  This be the reason that no photos accompany this blog post.

• Babymoons?  A stupid word to be sure, but an absolute necessity.  It is so very important to spend a tiny weekend away with your spouse and just enjoy your coupledom before a baby comes. Hubs and I always regretted that we didn't do it when we were expecting HD.  We were smack-dab in the middle of buying a house (closed on the house and moved in my 6th month of pregnancy), so we talked ourselves out of it due to money.  The thing is?  Babymoons don't have to be expensive at all.  Hubs and I just spent a single night in a hotel within 3 hours from our home.  But you could do a day trip together, hit a local spa, go on a hike with a picnic. What matters is that you take the time to get away from your daily routine and go somewhere so you can interact with each other.  Hubs and I talk all the time, but it was really nice to have an evening of conversation that didn't consist of topics such as daycare payments, is HD wearing sunscreen, what's on the grocery list, blahblahblah.  Biggest lesson parents soon forget?  What's good for your marriage is ultimately VERY good for your kids.

• Finally, this was my reaction when I realized that I would be home on maternity leave in front of a TV during the entirety of March Madness.

I'll check in sooner next time with actual goings on, landlubbers.

It Be the Month of Blustering (or, "March Date")

Things be busy here at the Dread Pirate household (I'm covering for a co-worker for a month in addition to my regular job, my parents are visiting for a week, we've got a contractor installing new windows and fixing a water damaged wall).  All your typical yada-yada-yada to explain the blog neglect.

In the midst of it all, Hubs and I had our Christmas date for the month of March.  The theme for this month?  I got him a gift certificate for Home Depot, with the promise that we could go for as long as he wanted and that I had to act interested yet not over opinionated over anything he wanted to look at.  The in-laws babysat, we got Starbucks before hand, and we managed to hit two different Home Depots in order to hunt down some special lights we needed.  But the best part came after.

We got to go on a dinner and a movie night for the first time in, literally, years.  Yes, plural.  We sat at a sushi bar, eating incredible grilled hamachi cheek and pretending we were in our early 20s again (i.e. did sake bombs).  We sobered up during the movie, Friends with Kids (entertaining 1st half, then sads set in as we realized that eventually we will know people of our generation who get divorced, all wrapped up with a cheezy ending).  The plus side?  We got home at about 9:30pm!  Couple that with the fact that we actually had beer on St. Patrick's Day, and we call that a win.  Either way, for a little while, we felt like these crazy kids back in 2007, complete with the cocktail in the pic.  [Fun fact for you San Franciscans -- I'm pretty sure this photo is from Bubble Lounge, back when it was cool and we lived in LA and just didn't know any better.] 

Five years is not a long period of time, unless you think about how much has actually happened since then.  A proposal, a cross-state move, a marriage, buying a home, having a baby, illness.  The first real grey hairs and wrinkles have invaded these two kids.  They drink less, travel less, sleep in never.  But they also get to play every single day, sing and laugh more than ever, and work a lot harder.  I'm proud of how far they've come, but I love when they get to resurface to play, if only for an evening.

Portrait Finale! (or, "End of Photo Project")

Ta da!  End of the month = end of the photo project.  Here's what happened this past week:

• a fave photo of you -- this is probably the coolest spontaneous shot that our wedding photog took nearly 3 years ago.  It's up on our dining room wall, one of the prominently displayed wedding shots in our house.  Soooo much more "us" than all the posed line-up pics that were taken outside the church!
• where you work -- "the largest and most influential grassroots environmental organization in the United States."  This is my extremely battered membership card.  Represent!!
• your shoes -- I actually wore heels to work that day, but since I walk over a mile between the train station and the office I brought my new Tieks (pictured) along.  Hubs's company gave out gift certificates for these shoes as gifts at the corporate holiday party.  SCORE.
• inside your bathroom cabinet -- not room for much other than some toothbrushes (inc. the mini one for HD)
• green -- my brother and I had a blast on Saturday taking HD to the park and local library.  Green swing set, green trees, green jacket.  Seemed right to me!
• night -- this former LA girl is still a sucker for the Oscars, despite the fact that I never have time to see more than 1-2 of the nominated flicks anymore.  I think my obsession is less about the speeches and clothes...and more about the fact that I'm pretty excellent at making Oscar picks (it's all about knowing the Academy's politics, which I'm a bit ashamed to say isn't hard to pick up).  Guess what I did all Sunday night after HD went to bed?
• something you ate -- second time this topic was on the monthly list.  This is one of my favorite home desserts: vanilla ice cream, lots of chocolate sauce, and dry roasted peanuts sprinkled on top.  The perfect salty-sweet, and still good even if the IC and syrup are low fat :)
• money -- in an effort to pretend I have some, here's a glimpse at my wallet.
• something you're listening to -- this was today's shot.  And I was extremely tempted to put in a pic of HD screaming with gumdrop sized tears and snot obscuring her face.  Let's just say that teething incisors makes for a pint-sized drama queen.  But I spared myself the agony of trying to get that shot, and focused on my refuge (iPod) instead.  Play on, Zeppelin.

Have I mentioned my recent obsession with the older model of Fisher Price Little People recently?  These are the ones that any person who was a kid in the 60s-90s will remember.  Apparently they were deemed a choking hazard after 40 years in production, and the new models are a but more...rotund.  I scooped up some of the oldies on eBay and HD is IN LOVE.

This Annum Needs to be Keelhauled (or, "Finally, the End of 2011")

The past few years have been a complete whirlwind.  Witness the following:

• 2008 -- The year Hubs (who was not-yet-Hubs back then) and I each moved from LA to San Francisco and started new career paths.  We also got engaged and started making a (teeny-tiny rented) home together.
• 2009 -- We married, we traveled, and we decided to start a family.  We also started the super-duper-amazing-I-mean-no-it-sucks-shoot-me-now process of house hunting.
• 2010 -- On New Years Day, we placed an offer on a beautiful Victorian house (20 miles south of our old apartment).  It was accepted, and we moved from the city to the 'burbs to become real mortgage-paying homeowners.  Hubs did a ton of travel for work; I got a promotion.  And of course, we became parents to the awesomest kid on the planet.  It was sort of a monster year for being thrust face first into adulthood.

So on New Years 2011, Hubs and I decided that we had had enough change to last us for awhile.  We said that our resolution was that 2011 would be the calmest year ever.  Keep it nice and easy, just work on our house, do our jobs as well as always, and have fun being parents and learning about our new town.  Apparently, God thought that was pretty funny.  And life continued to happen, you know, as it does.  

This year has had plenty of good, and definitely some bad.  It sure as hell threw a lot more change our way than we anticipated.    Another unexpected promotion, a new job for Hubs (so grateful and amazed that I can say both of those things in this economy).  Both of our brothers got married, bringing two awesome ladies into our family.  Our teeny gurgley baby became a walking, talking, hilarious drama queen.  We had a health scare that rocked our little family, and we managed to come out ok on the other side.  It's all been a lot more stress than we counted on.  But it was never, ever more than we could handle.  Every bit of it has made us stronger as a family.  And despite any anxieties we faced, we have a pretty good life.

With that, I can safely say that we have no resolutions for 2012.  Just goals and hopes.  To do everything we can to stay healthy, to strive for kindness, to be a good example for the kid, and to have fun.  Oh, and to blog more :)

Hope 2011 taught you all as much as it taught us.  Here's to a bright, shiny, unblemished new year!  Bring it, 2012!  

(And now, for a completely random video)

Ode to the Grand Admiral Madre (or, "My Mother is My Role Model")

Well, I certainly can't get all sentimental about my Daddy without touching on my Mama, can I?

My mother is one hell of a strong lady.  It takes an iron will to be the rock of a family that moved around as much as ours has. She has taught me how to be a better hostess, a decent cook, how to have good manners, and how to come up with a good zinger on the off-chance that someone's being horrid to you.  She taught me how important it is to stand up for yourself; that there's a big difference between being kind and being a pushover. 

Mama, I'm indebted to you for so many reasons:

• When I was maybe 5, you asked for my opinion before deciding your work schedule (working weekends = no biscuits for breakfast, working weekday afternoons = no Mama/snack time after kindergarten).  That made me feel so very important. 
• For dance lessons, letting me read aloud to you, letting me dress up in your old stuff, and all the other little ways you encouraged your budding actress years before I ever even stepped on a stage.
• You remember when we got locked out of our flat in Barbados?  We decided to stack up the neighbor's patio furniture and you let me climb up onto the balcony to get back in.  Funniest example in my mind of creative female problem solving.  And sheer enjoyment of celebratory Coca Cola.
• Always bopping around and singing goofy songs.  Because of you, I have zero shame about dancing and singing along to the muzak at the grocery store, in elevators, or department stores.  By myself.
• For pushing and working so hard for me to get to experience the things you didn't have in your own childhood.  Thank you for summer camp, swim lessons, band, and never making me clean my plate (other than the veggies). 
• Giving me A Tree Grows in Brooklyn at age 11, and telling me how important it was to you at that age.  You remember how battered my copy became?  That's a true testament to how well you spoke to my heart from behind the scenes, at a time when I was definitely a difficult kid.  To this day, I consider that book to be a love letter from a mother to a daughter.
• Thank you for all those random trips to the pet store to look at puppies, just because.  And thanks heaps for being a huge softie for a little red-head Chow Shepard mix with a neurological twitch.  And thanks most of all for making up a story that we were puppysitting so Daddy would have a whole week to fall in love with her so he would let us keep her. Your suggestion to Southernize her name from "Blue" to "Bonnie Blue" sure didn't hurt.
• You were so candid with your stories about how you were teased as a kid for being so skinny.  Thank you for constantly reminding me how it would suddenly becomes an enviable trait as an adult (you so nailed that one!).  And
• For raising me to just assume that I would go to college.  Not only that, but for constantly reminding me during the middle school and high school rough patches that college was going to be so much more fun, open-minded, freeing, and interesting than anything I had yet experienced (it totally was).
• When HD was born, I know you were so excited to see your new grandbaby.  But I know that first and foremost you wanted to make sure that I was ok.  Thanks for kicking it for hours in that waiting room, just in case I needed you.  Knowing you were nearby was a huge, huge help.

 I feel like more than any person in my life, you and I have managed to change, adapt, and grow the most together, always for the better.  I love that we get to be adults together now, and that you can be my friend as well as my parent.  Everyone should get to be friends with someone as honest, funny, and caring as you.

Ode to a Sandpaper Pappy (or, "My Father is Awesome")

There's nothing like being a parent to make you really reflect on your own childhood.  I don't have any illusions that I had the perfect childhood or the perfect family any more than I believe I was the perfect daughter.  But I have no doubts whatsoever that my parents always tried their hardest to do what they believed was the best for our family, and that they did (and continue to) love the bejeezus out of my brother and me. 

My father has always been one of the hardest working people I know.  Cripes, the man managed to get his masters while holding down a full time job and raising 2 kids while his wife also worked.  He had to travel a ton for work, but he still managed to be a very actively involved dad.

Daddy, thank you so much for the following (and lots more):

• When I was a teeny kid, and how you would lay down and let me crawl onto your belly and up to your propped knees so I could slide down your shins.  That was really fun.
• Making our backyard fort, complete with tire swing. 
• Always finding loose change for the ice cream truck.
• Taking me to the Young Writers' Conference at EWU.  That totally cultivated a hobby that I still enjoy today.
• Always making sure that no matter how much you traveled, that you could see at least one show of each of my various high school performances.
• Stacking me and the bro on your back when we would sled down the street.  Even though it was probably dangerous as all get out, it was sooooo much faster than going down by ourselves.
• Cultivating my love of horror movies and teaching me that being afraid is the biggest part of the fun (I'm referring specifically to watching The Shining at age 13, NOT The Exorcist at age 14 -- yikes)
• I owe you entirely for my taste in music.  You taught me to be open to new bands in addition to our old favorites, to love seeing bands live, and that pop music is an important part of American history.
• For being a cuddly daddy, who was never to busy to hold my hand or put an arm around me or give a scratchy mustache kiss.
• Every single early morning before you would fly out on a business trip, you would sneak into my room in the wee hours of morning to say you loved me before you left.  Me being a light sleeper, I'd wake about 85% pf the time, but I never minded.
• For teaching me the green eggs and ham theory -- that you have to try something before you can say that you don't like it.  Because of you, I love to eat.
• For teaching me the importance of knowing and remembering where you come from, and the idea of family as legacy, a linked chain with a shared history.
• Taking me to UCLA Scholar's Day, and subsequently convincing me to ditch the next day's scheduled USC visit to go to Disneyland instead.
• And for that Thanksgiving when I first came home after starting college, you invited me to enjoy a beer with you.  That completely stands out in my mind as the moment you first acknowledged me as an adult (even though I am so obviously still your little Weet Weet).  

You helped me to understand from a very early age what a father and a husband should be.  That I should have very high expectations of the man that I would marry.  Well, you were right and I do.  And I look at the amazing man that I chose to spend my life with, and the way he loves our daughter.  And weirdly, knowing that I have that makes me want to thank you, Daddy.   

Festivities and Menageries (or, "Man, We Was Bizzay")

Crazy weekend!  A gorgeous 11/11/11 wedding at the lovely Ferry Building in SF (congrats Omar and Alex!).  An overnight stay with Hubs's bro and his wife, minus Miss HD (she had a sleepover with the grandparents).  An awesome morning back at the Ferry Building to brunch it up with them, adults-only style.  Blue Bottle coffee + oyster po' boy + pumpkin tamale = breakfast of piratical champions.  Hightailed it to the grandparents' home to retrieve the kid and have lunch, then swooped on down to the other end of the Bay to the Oakland Zoo with my bro and his wife.  We saw our entire local family in the course of 4 counties and 1 day.  *phew*

This attempt to climb into the animal pen happened at every single exhibit.

There are zebras in the background, I swear.

Hubs and I unknowingly in matching outfits for a family pic (we will NEVER do that to our child on purpose)

The Zoo taught us many lessons, including the following:
1)  We don't need a stroller as long as we're in a fenced-off kid-friendly area with no cars (bah, like those are hard to find!).  It was truly awesome to let HD run free. 
2)  Like Madeline, HD also says "Pooh, pooh" to the tiger in the zoo.  But she was very impressed with the spider monkeys (which made Hubs and I nostalgic for our Costa Rican honeymoon). 
3)  Giraffes do communicate with each other verbally, but their voices are on a low enough frequency that most humans don't hear it.  What?  I thought that was fascinating.
4)  My brother and I, unbeknownst to one another prior to this weekend, shared a secret nerdy passion for Meerkat Manor.  Talk about weird sibling connections.  BTW, I'm still sad about the split of the family after Flower's death.

Agenda for next weekend?  YO GABBA GABBA LIVE (natch)!

Roguish Desires (or, "I Like Stuff")

I don't exactly consider myself a tastemaker. I'm usually in that last tier of folks who hear about whatever internet/tech trends are going on.  I primarily listen to music from the 1970s (honest to God, I'm still trying to figure out who Bruno Mars is).  And my fashion sense is probably more Annie Hall than Olivia Palermo (ooh, did I just reference someone who's actually semi-recent?!).  But, boy, I do love getting all bossy and giving unsolicited advice.  So on that note, here's the things this week that I adore, and you should too:

• Giada's Winter Minestrone Soup.  Holy mackerel, is this stuff tasty.  It's garlicky, slightly smokey from the pancetta, and chock full of delicious and healthy veggies.  Serve with a hunk of bread and you are all set.  Plus, the reruns of this soup are even better since the tastes have melded even more.  Although, I suppose that's true of most soups.  Anyway, I demand you make this one immediately. But only if you send me some because I'm almost out of my supply.
• Our country's men and women in the armed forces.  Sure I'm thinking of this because it's Veteran's Day later this week.  But these folks (AND their families!!!) deserve to be thanked every repeatedly and often.  Not everyone in the military or national guard fully agrees with the politics of this country -- hell, how many of you agree with every choice your employer makes?  Yet they serve strong and proud because it's their job.  Please, please make it a point to say "hey, thank you for what you do" to anyone you know who's serving or has served, or even to any stranger you see in uniform.  I promise you it really does mean a lot to them, and that they do not hear it enough.  Stepping down off the soap box now.
• Kids toys from Ikea.  Their stuff is all about creative play (lots of puppets, art supplies, play kitchens and tools, doctor sets).  It's colorful, durable, and cute.  And it's gloriously inexpensive.  I'm well on my way to having HD's Christmas all planned out and under budget, not to mention battery free.  Tack så mycket, Ikea!
• To all those folks who get amped over the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte...well, yes, I like them too.  But I go completely bonkers for Trader Joe's spiced cider.  It's made from whole, pressed apples and pre-marinated with all that lovely cinnamon/all-spice/orange rind.  All you have to do is heat.  And it's only $2.99!!  This single product takes a company that I adore and projects them into the stratosphere.  Especially if paired with some gingerbread (as made by their mix from a box).
• Working out and getting my Mardi Gras fix all at the same time.  (Although, Jasleen, I totally miss doing the Bollywood dance with you!)
• Old Navy kids' clothes, particularly this awesome sweatshirty jacket thing.  Old Navy peeps -- pretty please make one in my size?

Yonder Bermuda Triange (or, "Why Did I Disappear for 3 Weeks?")

There was just too much fun going on the past couple of weeks since I've last written.  Let's do a quick catch-up and get down to kid cuteness, shall we?

A Southern lady-in-training, complete with smocked seersucker and halo.

1.  Vacay to my favorite port town: Charleston, SC.  I'm lucky enough to have folks that live in this awesome city part-time, so we get a free place to crash and free babysitting to boot!  Highlights of the trip were HD's trip to the South Carolina Aquarium (at present time, she deems any land mammal a "puppy" and any water-faring beasite is a "tuh-tuh" -- turtle), LOTS of beach frolicking at Sullivan's Island and Folly Beach (the warm water plants me firmly on Team Atlantic -- take that, majestic beauty of the freezing Pacific!), my father getting me slightly overserved, and HD got to meet her great grandfather and great Aunt Barbara :)

Pop, Mammy (Admiral Granmadre!), HD, and the Cap'n -- 4 generations of devious.

Our first all-looking-at-the-camera, all-smiling family portrait!  At happy hour, no less!

Sandpaper Pappy and HD in Waterfront Park, post-dip in the Pineapple Fountain.

Wind and hilarity at Folly Beach!

 2.  Last weekend we went to our first wedding of 2011 in a very cute winery...and it'll be a busy year on the wedding front.  I get 2 sisters-in-law this year, people.  Incidentally, we're not planning on taking HD to any of the weddings, unless the couple just really wants her there.  Any reader thoughts on this?  Hubs and I look at it as a date day for ourselves to be full dancing/drinking adults (in HD's lifetime, this has only occurred when we're at weddings!), not to mention that toddlers and Catholic ceremonies aren't very compatible.  Besides, HD will prolly have way more fun playing with her grandparents than being shushed in a church.    

3.  The institution of Workout Wednesdays.  Neither Hubs nor I are trying to lose any weight, but we do want increased energy to run after a toddler, plus the strength to man-handle her effectively.  So we've  begun working out together one day a week after she goes to bed -- a Jillean Michaels DVD here, some Netflix Watch Instantly pilates classes there (yup, I LOVE that Hubs is secure enough to give pilates a go...and he liked it!).  We're adding in a second weekday in August, and then committing to a weekend day by September.  Baby steps for couch potatoes, folks.

4.  Hubs started a new job!  He now works about 3 miles from our house, instead of 20.  This new lack of commute was especially awesome yesterday, when I was so enthralled in my book that I completely missed my normal train stop on the way home.  I have always vaguely assumed this would happen one day.  Which meant I ended up 2 entire towns south of where my car was parked.  Hubs busted a gut laughing on the phone, then lovingly came to retrieve my stranded ass 15 minutes later so we could pick up HD on time from daycare.  I'm a lucky lady.
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With our catch-up out of the way, here's all news HD.  Kid is running around all over the place now, usually with as much grace as a wino.  It's adorable.  Per her daycare provider, she is also now officially a flirt.  One little boy kissed her goodbye after I had strapped her into her car seat, but apparently she likes to sidle up to a different boy regularly to bat her eyes and whisper "hi."  Once she's able to speak in full sentences, I imagine she'll break all sorts of hearts.  In addition to HD's array of animal sounds (horses have been added to that list), she can now point out a bunch of her body parts as well.  She's particularly proud of showing off her round "nummy" after a meal.  HD now is ridin' dirty in a big kid car seat (rear facing of course!) and we retired the infant car seat she first came home in almost 14 months ago.  Finally, Hubs and I are in the super fun process of starting to wean away the bottle.  Our opinionated little miss, who gave up the boob and pacifiers with minimal issues or fuss, has made it clear that a "baba" of milk is her one true love.  She has zero problems with cups as long as they contain water or juice.  Recommendations for process as welcome!

Our daughter, a sucker for the bottle.

Gal o' the Western Trade Winds (or, "Ways I Want the Kid to be a California Girl")

I mentioned previously my desire to instill some good ol' Southern values into my daughter.  I have a great amount of pride for some of my Southern upbringing, but I am equally proud of my years in California.  This is, afterall, the place where I became an adult.  I've lived in the two most influential cities this state has to offer, and there are definitely aspects of the lifestyle here that I hope HD will have throughout her life, no matter where she goes.

Here are the Top California Influences/Ideas I Hope HD Has in her Life:

1.  I hope she loves living the outdoorsy life.  This state has some of the nation's most beautiful national and state parks, small suburbs (whatup, Belmont!) and big cities alike are packed with well-maintained hiking trails, and Cali has a crazy range of eco-systems to experience -- redwood forests, insanely hot deserts, gorgeous beaches, gigundo mountains, you name it.  HD already adores hanging out in the yard or parks, so we're off to a great start.  If only the weather would actually decide to be springlike so we could be outside more often (*shakes fist at nearby ever-hovering marine layer*)...

2. Exposure to lots of international cuisine.  Hubs and I are adventurous eaters, and very proud of that.  We've loved exploring LA's Koreatown, finding the best Thai takeout, braving Indian lunch buffets, stalking the Tamale Lady in the Mission District.  I'm hoping HD's current love of hummus and garlic means that she won't only insist on cheese pizza or crustless PB&J in a couple of years. 

3.  CA is certainly not environmentally perfect (what place is?), but there are solid attempts to make green choices more accessible to the masses here in the Bay Area.  Yay for county-wide composting and recycling programs, taking the train to work, landmark greenhouse gas laws, and blockage of local offshore drilling.  HD, this state is at least attempting to bank on your generation's future :)

4.  The diversity here is astounding in every sense of the word -- religious, ethnic, sexual, economic.  I hope that we're always able to show HD that there are all kinds of families, traditions, cultures, holidays.  That what's normal for her isn't "normal" for everyone.

5.  That In'n'Out is a spectacular thing indeed.  Especially if you substitute ketchup/mustard instead (anyone else with me on that?  Thousand Island is totally barf inducing).

One Dubloon Short of a Full Chest (or, "11 Months Old")

My daughter is 11 months old today.  She's really only a baby for one more month!  And she's obviously really, really excited about it:

Mama, we discussed this.  Only candid shots post-nap; I'm done with posing.

Here's her "baby tricks" status to date:

• Has a small repitoire of words she says and actually understands, including Daddy/Dada, bye, hi/hey, "quack, quack" (yup, she says this whenever she sees ducks, inc. rubber ones), and puppy.  Although, puppy is slightly debatable, since she tends to call anything that makes her happy (inc. actual dogs) "puppy."  For example dogs, any and all stuffed animals, and yours truly are usually referred to as "puppy."  And to those of you wondering, yes, she can say Mama, but I think I'm in her face so much she doesn't really see the need to ever call my name.
• Climbing.  As in, up our entire staircase.  We're still working on the whole getting down portion.
• Standing on her own for, like, 3 seconds!  Impressive. 
• Not walking on her own just yet.  She loves cruising (walking while holding on to furniture) and really loves her alligator walker.  She loves it so much, she actually gets pissed off at other toys that aren't as awesome as her beloved walker.
• Threw her first full-on temper tantrum on Mother's Day.  We were up at the in-laws house, and her grandma had found an old toy of Hubs's, lovingly cleaned it up, and had it out for HD.  HD thought it was supposed to move around in the same way as the walker -- lo and behold, it did not.  Full blown wails and tears of frustration, leaving me to explain to everyone that no, she wasn't hurt.  Just going through toddler-hood a bit earlier than predicted. 
• Pointing at everything.  My favorite is when you ask her "Where are the pirates?" she points vehemently at this cool pirate flag garland that's hanging up in her room.  Pointing also means that she's able to indicate what she wants in ways other than crying.  Huzzah!

This time last year, I was in a holding pattern.  The last month of pregnancy isn't easy, and not just because of the beached whale/constant need to pee/tiny foot poking you in the ribs feeling.  It's a time where planning goes completely out the window, and you have to be ready for a new person to be in your life at any moment.  You begin to fully comprehend that you will be responsible for another person's safety, well-being, health, happiness.  There were times where I could feel that I was psyching myself out.  "I won't be good enough, I haven't prepared enough, I have no idea what I'm doing." 

But you breathe and ride out that final month.  And when she makes her appearance, she looks into your eyes for the first time as if to say, "Oh, it's you."  You fall instantly, madly in love.  And this tiny little person teaches you every day what it is that you're supposed to do, who it is that you're supposed to be.

Man, I can't wait to get home today to play with my kid.

A Lady by Way of Southern Shores ("Ways I Want the Kid to be a Carolina Girl")

I promised a video, and it's buried here in my diatribe, so keep reading!  Here's a photo to tide you over in the meantime:

This has nothing to do with anything.  But she's wearing pink patent loafers!

For those who aren't aware, I grew up in a bunch of vastly different places.  Abbreviated life story of the Cap'n: birth to age 7 in various towns in North Carolina; age 8 in Barbados (yes, that was the beginning of the whole pirate obsession); ages 9-16 in Spokane, WA; finished high school in a San Francisco Bay Area 'burb; finally down to Los Angeles for college (U-C-L-A! Fight! Fight! Fight!).  Adult life has since been split between LA and SF/surrounding area.  It's kind of an understatement to say that I got really used to being the new kid when I was growing up (until college, the longest I was in one school was 3 years). But I had a varied childhood and saw a lot more at an earlier age than most of my peers; wouldn't trade it for anything.

In looking at the two major bookends of my life, the Carolinas and California, I've been thinking a lot about what kinds of viewpoints I hope HD picks up in life.  Since her daddy has spent 30 of his 31 years in Cali, it's up to me to represent the Southern side of things.

My folks are Southern through and through -- they even retired in Charleston (the ultimate American pirate port, arrrrr!!!), which is as Old South as you can get.  I was definitely raised with a strong Southern influence cast over my life through them and my extended family, no matter where certain years were spent.  We took HD to Charleston for the first time earlier this year and had a blast.  People can say all they want about Southern bigotry, overzealous religion, or insane eating habits (they'd be right in a lot of cases) -- there are still amazing things about that part of the country.

Here are the Top Southern Influences/Ideas I Hope HD Has in her Life:

1)  A strong sense of community (Southerners are GREAT at this, whether it's the gossip mill in a small town, the regular church attendance, or a huge pie-bearing welcome wagon anytime a new neighbor moves in).  This kind of ties into general pride for any group you belong to.  You've never seen true team spirit or intense sorority sisterhood until you've visited an ACC school (Boston doesn't count).

2)  MANNERS.  I cannot stress this enough.  We're talking way beyond "please and thank you."  I miss "sir" and "ma'am," men standing slightly when a women sits or rises from the table, and making eye contact with strangers in the street and giving them a smile or nod.  Ain't nothing wrong with a little common courtesy (which I need to remind myself everyday to practice when I commute on the train with the blind masses).

3)  Cute and ladylike clothes.  Working on this currently, as evidenced by this sundress:

4)  Southerners are suckers for live music.  There's a lot more singing and dancing going on at random down there.  I love the sense of joy and unselfconsciousness it emanates.   HD would fit right in.

5)   Taking life a bit more slowly.  Maybe it's the accent, but Southerners are kings when it comes to pausing and allowing something to sink in.  Living near and working in a hectic city makes me very GOGOGO all the time.  My own mama can't understand about half of my crazy speed speak.  In fact, this is what I must sound like to her:

'Tis Grateful I Be on the Each Week's Fifth Day (or, "Thankful on a Thursday")

There's a whole idea out there in the blogesphere that I've pillaged: Thankful on a Thursday.  I love the idea of taking a bit of time each week to publicly acknowledge the little things that I appreciate and even crave.  I'll interpret my "ToaT" as a short list of current things that give me the happies, since I'm constantly grateful for my family, health, having a job, and whatnot.  Obvi.  

I asked HD what she was thankful for today, and received this as her reply:

  

As you can see/hear, HD clearly states that she's thankful for Bobby and puppy.  I mean this in all sincerity -- the first mate truly couldn't have picked two finer things in life.  It's been a rough week.  And here are a few things that have helped it pass by for me:

1)  Dexter season 4 and the amazingness that is John Lithgow.  It's hard to believe the unspeakably frightening "Trinity Killer" is the same dude who I used to see walking his dogs on the beautiful UCLA campus back in my college days.  Netflix is the greatest source of escapism ever (aside from the library, naturally).

2)  The bottle of Cabernet Franc leftover from our wedding 2 years ago.  Hallelujah, praise Bacchus.  

3)  I am not a phone person, but occasionally I do have actual conversations with real live people.  Unexpected phone calls with old friends can be lifesavers.  Big smooch going out to the former Schwartzy.

4)  Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.  Nothing like a hard, quick sweat-fest to work off some stress!  Who knew a mere 20 minutes could make one feel simultaneously exhausted and empowered?

5)  Slowly, Slowly, Slowly Said the Sloth.  Every night, Hubs, HD, and I all pile onto our bed to read a few books before putting HD down in her room.  This is the current fave.  It's beautiful, funny, and contains tons of animals that Hubs and I actually saw on our honeymoon (Costa Rica, where I'd love to take HD some day).  Ah, memories.

Hope all is well out there for y'all, dear readers.  

One Debonair Buccaneer (or, "A Love Letter")

Hubs.  My funny, virile, smart-as-a-whip, manly co-captain.

Ok, so HD is in the pic to up the cute factor.  But Hubs is pretty cute too.

As much as I love my alone time, nothing beats having a true partner in crime.  Here's an abbreviated list of what makes marriage so very worth it (at least, my marriage):

1.  The man very literally just walked into the study whilst I was typing just to give me a kiss.  Not to read over my shoulder or interrupt my "me" time.  Just in, smooch, then out to catch up on Survivor.  Sometimes the quick reminder of romance is exactly all I needed.

2.  No one indulges my love of bad horror movies like this man.  Our Saturday nights are seriously like Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Darlin' Hubs, thanks for letting me crow over Dead Alive.  Although I still maintain it was more enjoyable than your precious Thankskilling.  [Reader -- I would link to both of those movies, but for reals...lots of blood, guts, bad puns, and naughty language.  You'd probably question my sanity if you saw what I find to be funny.]

3.  I came home this week all aglow because I've decided to finally decorate our study in a decidedly feminine manner.  He patiently sat through 25 minutes of me showing him different decorating blogs and  Pottery Barn office organizing systems.  He even claimed to like the curtains I picked out.  Seriously, y'all -- that's love.

4.  Hubs is the best daddy in the world.  Dads have this amazing (enviable) ability to let their kids do things on their own.  Whereas this mama occasionally flutters about trying to help HD with any physical play, Hubs is urging her to use her push walker, do somersaults at Little Gym class, and explore the bottom stairs in our house.  He has mastered the fine line of proctoring her safety and allowing her to act as an individual.  I could really learn from him.

5.  Yeah, we used the traditional "for better or worse, in sickness and health" vows in our wedding.  Some people find them canned, stuffy, cliche.  But we said those words because that's exactly what we wanted to sign up for in creating a life together.  Some things are classic for a reason.  I meant (and still do mean) every word.

He knows the writing makes me happy. When he's taken a particularly cute video or photo, he specifically tells me he did it for the blog.  Behold, dear Reader, a parting sign of love for you from my Hubs:

Sea Chanties (or, "Playlist for the Kid")

I realize that it's not exactly earth-shaking to say that I dig music.  Really, who doesn't?   My folks were on the young side when they had me (26 and 24).  I grew up with a former frat boy daddy who pumped tunes on a constant basis, and a mama who's not afraid to shake her groove thang.  Couple that with the fact that MTV was 2 months old at the time of my birth, and you've got all the ingredients for a rockin' childhood.  I vaguely remember listening to some "children's music;" we had a Wee Sing cassette tape and some Disney Sing-Along videos.  But the majority of my memories are of road trips and backyard barbecues, complete with thumping bass line.  The bands prominent in my youth -- Allman Brothers, Led Zeppelin, the Police, Jimmy Buffett, Dire Straits, Lynyrd Skynyrd.  And (perhaps oddly?) the Ghostbusters soundtrack and Paul Simon's Graceland album.  My favorite song when I was 2 years old?  Van Halen's "Jump."

Needless to say, I don't believe you really need to screen your music sensibilities for your kids.  I mean, I didn't understand half of the lyrics until I was in the double-digits.  And by then, I was listening to Snoop Dogg and Salt'n'Pepa, so the age of innocence was kind of over at that point anyway.  I play music for HD constantly -- we dance around the kitchen while preparing supper, I sing to her at night, and she shrieks along in the car to my tunes.  It warms my heart.

Here's a sample of songs we love together; songs I play for her or sing to her.  Warning -- I couldn't keep this brief.  I got too excited.

1.  "Tiny Dancer" - Elton John -- Hubs and I went to an Elton John/Billy Joel concert when I was about 6 months pregnant.  Not only was it awesome, but pre-natal HD was bopping all over my uterus to this song.

2. "It Won't be Like This for Long" - Darius Rucker -- Purely sentimental; I dare you to listen to this and not tear up.  

3.  "Daylight" - Matt & Kim -- For me, this is HD's theme song.  It's happy, playful, and awesome.  I was obsessed with this song in September 2009 (had just seen M&K in concert and played this All The Time), which happened to be the month HD came to be.

4.  "Stand" - REM -- HD pulls herself up to standing position now.  For months, whenever I would hold her up to stand, I'd sing this to her.  She cracks a huge smile whenever she hears it.

5.  "(Baby) Hold Me Tight" - Kitty, Daisy, and Lewis -- HD likes to dance around to this one.  Anglophile that I am, I just like that it's peppy and the artists are Brits.

6.  "A Pirate Looks at Forty" - Jimmy Buffett -- You didn't really think you could get through this list without a pirate mention, did you?  I do actually sing this to HD when rocking her to sleep.  Yup, even the part about having "been drunk now for over two weeks." *shrug*

7.  "Ooh Poo Pah Doo" - Trombone Shorty & James Andrews -- Great tune from the Treme soundtrack.  I was in love with that show all summer while home on maternity leave.  I would dance teeny HD around during the musical scenes.  She seemed to like it.  Or I can pretend she did.

8.  "The Book of Love" - the Magnetic Fields -- This is a strange little love song.  But it's one of the most beautiful and true songs I've ever heard.  That may be cheesy, but I like singing it in the soft glow of her nightlight.

9.  "If I Had a Boat" - Lyle Lovett -- This is HD's number one absolute favorite song.  It calms her down every time, no matter what level of crankiness we're talking about.  As many times as I've sung it, it's a good thing I love it too.  

10.  "Stop Your Sobbing" - the Pretenders -- This is for when she's crying bunches.  Obvi.

11.  "Sweet Thing" - Van Morrison -- It's a slightly scary time when you're hugely pregnant and closing in on your due date.  This song slowed my pulse and helped me breathe during that whole final month.

12.  "I've Just Seen a Face" - the Beatles -- My little love ditty to my daughter.  

13.  "Moonshadow" - Cat Stevens -- Loved this song in high school (I know, I'm weird), and always thought it sounded like a cool lullabye.  Guess what?  It totes is!

14.  "Tangerine" - Led Zeppelin -- My buddy Travis was kind enough to give me a bunch of "mellow Zeppelin" recommendations to download when I was convinced I had to educate my baby in rock history (I still kind of am).

15.  "She Bangs the Drums" - the Stone Roses -- On maternity leave, when I was really bored and HD was napping, I'd play Guitar Hero III.  This song was always dedicated to my little Tica.

16.  "Daughter" -- Loudon Wainwright III -- You may know this as the song at the end of Knocked Up. But it absolutely sums up being the parent of a small girl.  But to a TEE.

17.  "Everlasting Light" - the Black Keys -- One of my fave bands.  Is it wrong of me to attempt brainwashing my daughter into loving them as well?  I've already given up on Hubs.

18.  "Hold On, I'm Coming" - Sam & Dave -- This song is what family and friendship is all about, on every level.  Plus, it's kickin'!

19.  "Mind of My Own" - Frances England -- Ok, so I did make sure to include one "children's artist" on this list.  This song personifies my independent little miss.  Plus, it's just good music, and doesn't talk down to kids (or annoy their parents).  If that's my biggest beef with most kids tunes, Ms. England has shown me it doesn't always have to be so.

20.  "The Happy Song (Dum-Dum) - Otis Redding -- The man himself!  If I could pick one artist to feature on the soundtrack of my life, Big O is it.  I hum this song to myself on the train when I'm heading home to pick up my HD.  It's my "shed work worries, you're going home to play with your kid" song.

Something tells me I'll be making a few CDs for my car tomorrow.

Doublets, Waistcoats, and Breeches (or, "Costume Box!")

I haven't written in awhile, which saddens me.  I really like giving an update a couple of times a week.  I could make excuses...in fact, I will make excuses.  No new entries in a week because:

• I've been working during lunch breaks.  Work got stressful all of a sudden -- go figure.
• The weekend was spent cleaning and spending quality time with my source material (that would be HD and the Hubs).  Lots of time at the library and on the swings.
• I've been watching the Masterpiece Classics special Downton Abbey.  PBS really knows how to appeal to my inner nerdiness.  I'm obsessed, but only have 2 episodes left.

By the by, if any of you readers have a hankering for an particular update/topic ("more crawling footage!") or if you have burning questions that must be answered ("why on earth did you make HD wear ____?"), feel free to email me or post in the comments.  On to the show!

I heart projects.  It’s a little thrilling to come up with the idea, make prep lists, gather all materials, and have a set end product.  Makes-ah me happy.  I’m also a big fan of playing.  There are all sorts of games/toys from my childhood that I reverted to when babysitting…and I’d love to dip into those as a parent too.  I get ridiculously excited over playthings for HD.  Scouring Etsy for retro toys; stockpiling books that I loved when I was young (Laura Ingalls Wilder -- holla!); and dreaming of couch forts, art projects, and playhouses [Interjection -- LOVED building an “Are You Afraid of the Dark”-inspired fort in the woods with my bro, my BFF Kim, and some neighbor kids.  We dug a pretty sweet mini-cavern to use as a hiding place.  It was cool until the hideout became a haven for skunks and teenage boys who liked to share an illicit beer].  I know the biggest lesson for me will be to dial back my own nostalgia and follow HD’s lead on her likes and dislikes.  Thankfully, as the moppet gets bigger every day, she has exhibited a few interests that have helped me form a project or two for later.


HD has revealed an extreme fascination for makeup, hair, and jewelry.  At least, I can convince myself that she has.  Makeup – she likes holding pots/tubes when I put it on in the morning (ok, so it’s prolly because the pots are perfect size for her chubby lil’ hands).  Hair – she always has her hands in my or her hair; loves playing with it (yeah, all babies pull hair any chance they get).  Jewelry – I daresay she examines my necklaces with a particularly delicate touch (ooh! shiny!).  I mean, the evidence of a future fashionista is solid!  I have decided it’s my duty to cultivate this potential hobby.


Hubs and I comb through our wardrobes every couple of months to weed out items to give to our local mission or Goodwill.  It occurred to me during this last round of closet cleaning that I should save some of the booty for my daughter.  I definitely used to dress up in my parents’ gear, usually dragging my little brother into the process.  So I have started setting aside old clothes, and pieces of old Halloween/sorority costumes that I weirdly hung on to.  A veritable costume box for HD!  You know, for once she’s walking and changing her own clothes and whatnot.  Examples of it current contents:

·         Various pirate paraphernalia (duh) – plastic sword, kerchief, eye patch, several hats, etc.

·         Awesome black kimono-style dress with huge multicolor sleeves

·         Heeled tap shoes (from my high school musical days)

·         A white eyelet & lace dress

·         Purply satin bridesmaid dress

·         A jaunty red beret!

·         The coup de grace – a bright red, old-timey union suit, complete with drop-down flap on the butt (lovely gag gift to Hubs one year from my folks; a welcome-to-your-new-Southern-family kind of thing)

Overzealous?  Perhaps.  I prefer “prepared.” 



HD, Mama promises that she will only dress up with you in the privacy of our own home, special occasions notwithstanding.



Incidentally, God help Hubs and me if HD ends up loving lucha libre or investment portfolios or something.  Although if she bats those eyelashes at us, I’m sure we’ll instantly become huge fans of whatever she wants.

Message in a Bottle (or "Where I Post Something I Actually Wrote Last Summer")

This past week has been sort of rough.  Definitely don't need to dwell on the details of all that occurred; suffice it to say that work was stressful, the rain was plentiful, and that my laptop wouldn't turn on.  Nearly had a heart attack over that last bit, and it did prevent me from blogging mid-week like I had planned.  But the Apple store Genius Bar is a wonderful place, and today I got my Ol' Reliable back in perfect working order (plus all cleaned and gussied-up FOR FREE; woot Apple peeps!!).

Most new parents have some sort of list of Things I Will Teach My Kid.  This runs on the backburner in your head along with Ways I Will/Will Not Be Like My Parents and I'll Never Let My Kid Do the Following. These lists are constantly evolving -- surprisingly, things like life and your child's individual personality begin to factor in.  I've been writing things down (a diary of sorts) since I was pregnant with HD.  Way back in August, my daughter was not quite 2 months old.  And I made this list:

Lessons I Hope to Teach HD

1. Respect has to be earned (yes, even by your elders).  However, you owe common courtesy to absolutely everyone (yes, even the mean and/or stupid people of the world).
2. It’s important to give back.  You don’t have to have a lot to be able to give – you can aid people with money, your time, or your talents.  No one cause is better or worse than another.
3. You need to learn to make your own fun.  Entertaining oneself encourages creativity and imagination.  This means sometimes playing by yourself, and not having only toys with all the bells and whistles.
4. Southern manners are key – this includes sir/ma’am, please/thank you, excusing oneself when leaving, holding doors open, and giving your seat to someone who needs it more than you.
5. You have to try something (foods, activities, interacting with certain people) before you say that you don’t like it.  Otherwise, you’re just not making an educated decision.  Just like Green Eggs and Ham.
6. Playing outside is an amazing and wonderful thing.  But there’s also something to be said for the fun of couch forts on a rainy day.
7. Your parents will sometimes mess up, and they’re not always right (surprise!).  But everything they do and all decisions they make are made with the purest intentions for their children.  They’re trying their hardest, and sometimes you have to cut them a break.
8. Sometimes, being scared can be really, really fun (e.g. roller coasters, making new friends, ghost stories).
9. You will eventually do things that you wish you hadn’t done.  And you may feel bad or embarrassed about having done those things.  But once it’s done, it’s done.  Instead of worrying about it, learn from it.

Being as HD has yet to walk or speak real words, I haven't tweaked this list.  I'm sure over time I'll slack on some of these items, either not enforcing these ideals once introduced or just dropping them altogether.  But for now, I'm still trying to have a bit of faith in Future Self's optimism and enthusiasm for  teaching life lessons.  Some of these things she'll find annoying.  Hopefully some will stick, and she'll appreciate them later.  I certainly learned a few of these things from my own parents and am obviously grateful enough to want to pass them on.  [Side note for a future topic -- how becoming a parent opens whole new levels of respect/awe/thankfulness/surprise/bewilderment towards your own folks.].

Now here's a video of the kid being adorable, for no reason other than that's what the people demand!