My Second Mate (or "Finally, a Post about the Second Kiddo")

Just because I haven't written about my son yet doesn't mean he isn't front and center in my life. Quite the opposite, in fact -- I'm not writing because he has joined HD as the main focus of my little life these past few months. So as we embark on his 7 month anniversary here on this planet, I write for my Callum Lad (CL):

My handsome little devil,

There will be times in your life where I'll feel the need to preemptively apologize to you, because you will be subject to many comparisons to your sister. This is not in anyway because she is better or more or bigger or what-have-you. It's simply by virtue of her being older and the sheer fact that she was able to do most things first.  But you've got one-up on her.  She's got the burden of being our first exposure to all aspects of parenting, so you'll be able to learn from her mistakes if you pay attention.

I'll not sugar-coat it, son -- HD was an awesome baby. She was rarely fussy, easily soothed, almost always happy, never sick, a good eater, a great sleeper. She cooed at folks, and they cooed back.  Because of this, your daddy and I just sort of assumed you'd be a demon baby. How could there be room for another awesome baby in the Brill family?  Did we already use up all the awesome with our first?  We were positive you'd be very needy, the male high-maintenance counterpart to our daughter. And that first month you did require a tad more hands-on managing than she did...but I attribute that to you being a newborn during cold weather instead of her summertime first months (our house was pretty cold).  But as we've come to know each other, you have proved yourself to be remarkably low-key and loving.  Then again, that may be due to the fact that Hurricane HD is 3, and the laws of nature allow for only one drama baby in a family at any given time.  Thank God.

CL, you have proved our demon theory so very wrong.  At a young age, you are already a little daydreamer.  You love gazing at sunlight, shadows, and wind blowing in trees, fascinated by the patterns in the light and always trying to physically touch that bit of magic you see.  You can entertain yourself for long periods, working out the mechanics of toys or kitchen utensils.  You are an amazing self-soother, calmly finding your thumb during moments of potential stress. If I happen to be holding you at such a moment, your free hand will stroke my hair (this slays me).  You love to mimic sounds.  Initially, you are serious upon seeing new people, sizing them up and drinking everything in.  But my, do you love to laugh.  Tickling, funny noises, and especially your sister are your primary sources of entertainment.  You adore your Sissy above anyone else.  Craning your neck to look after her movements, you will quickly dive toward her for a hug if she comes close by.

I'm in love with my bright boy.  And STRONG.  You are a serious yoga baby -- already doing full plank position in anticipation of crawling.  You'll get there soon, I have no doubt.  And as you pass each growth milestone, Daddy and I remind ourselves how different you are from your sister.  You've got her beat in some departments (crawling before she did, for sure), and will probably be a bit slower in others.  I can promise that as a family, we will work together to see what talents each of you present and what interests each of you as you get older.  You will like some of the same things (reading and music, IhopeIhopeIhope).  You will also have separate interests.  I just hope above all that you two learn to lean on each other, and remember that your parents love both of you for who you are, not for how you work as any sort of matched set.

And I promise, no photos of y'all in matching outfits over the years.  The one time that happened, it was a total accident, I swear.  I think Daddy dressed you that day.

Impending Second Mate (or," Thoughts on a Second Pregnancy")

Dear Readers,

My apologies for the extreme lack of summer postings.  Important things such as vacations and Breaking Bad viewing really got in the way of nighttime writing.  That, and the whole exhaustion of my first trimester of my second pregnancy.  That's right -- we're expecting a son around mid-January and HD already calls him George Harrison (no, we're not going to actually name him that).  Which means my belly?  May contain a genius Hindu rhythm guitarist.  Anyway, that about catches you up to speed!  Here are some of the thoughts that have been running around in my head about this for the past few months.

• I suppose it's because I know what to expect this time around, but I feel way more pregnant at a way earlier point this time around.  When I was only 18 weeks in (that's 4.5 months for those in a non-preggo mindset) and I was already all, "Ugh, my hips...bleh, I can't sleep...wah wah wah."  Extra whiny, which you know Hubs loves.

• Everything folks say about how you are way less uptight with a second child?  Well, it's true and it starts very early on.  I'm so much more laid back with this pregnancy.  Lifting a 27 pound child without a second thought, chowing on smoked salmon and bleu cheese dressing despite dire warnings from every pregnancy website, etc.  Sort of relieved to not be so stressed about doing everything perfectly by the book this time around.

• Not only did I apparently stain all my previous tops/dresses and not realize it til now, but I'm completely over maternity clothes very early on.  Too expensive, and/or too freaking dowdy.  I look and feel much better in regular clothes.  I'm just buying a size or two up and working it (note -- this only works with tops and dresses).  Only cheap brands or sale clothing need apply, the looser and longer the cut, the better.  I have the feeling I'll appreciate this decision more post pregnancy when I'm attempting to work off the leftover chunkiness.

• Weirdly gravitated towards purple all summer with random stuff we needed to buy.  Lilac and plum new bedding for HD's new big girl bedroom.  Bought a new bathing suit for myself in "brilliant purple."  Violet tennis dress for HD.  Grape colored tennis shoes are now in her closet.  According to my mother (a former psych nurse), schizophrenics are drawn to purple.  Not sure what that indicates about this little baby of mine, but I prefer thinking that George Harrison just thinks lots of royal thoughts.

• Are we doing a maternity photo shoot this time around?  I counter that question with another -- are you crazy?  I fall in the camp of preggos who don't love having their photo taken.  It doesn't matter how I actually look to the outside world, I feel the size of a mack truck.  Pear-shaped body, cellulite, and bags under my eyes were already my biggest body insecurities, but they're magnetized 18-fold by pregnancy.  I don't care to commemorate them for all time, even if peasant dresses and flower crowns would make me feel prettier.  Also?  This be the reason that no photos accompany this blog post.

• Babymoons?  A stupid word to be sure, but an absolute necessity.  It is so very important to spend a tiny weekend away with your spouse and just enjoy your coupledom before a baby comes. Hubs and I always regretted that we didn't do it when we were expecting HD.  We were smack-dab in the middle of buying a house (closed on the house and moved in my 6th month of pregnancy), so we talked ourselves out of it due to money.  The thing is?  Babymoons don't have to be expensive at all.  Hubs and I just spent a single night in a hotel within 3 hours from our home.  But you could do a day trip together, hit a local spa, go on a hike with a picnic. What matters is that you take the time to get away from your daily routine and go somewhere so you can interact with each other.  Hubs and I talk all the time, but it was really nice to have an evening of conversation that didn't consist of topics such as daycare payments, is HD wearing sunscreen, what's on the grocery list, blahblahblah.  Biggest lesson parents soon forget?  What's good for your marriage is ultimately VERY good for your kids.

• Finally, this was my reaction when I realized that I would be home on maternity leave in front of a TV during the entirety of March Madness.

I'll check in sooner next time with actual goings on, landlubbers.