A Treasure Trove of Larnin' (or, "20 Things I've Learned in My Twenties"

This week I make the grand exit from my twenties.  I'll be utterly honest and tell y'all that I don't mind this one little bit.  This past decade has taught me so much (as it does everyone, I suppose), but it's been pretty exhausting.  College in all its glory, entering the working world, dating in all its horror, falling in love, being married, changing careers, becoming a parent, buying a house, lots of family upheaval, seeing old friends come and go...  I've been reflecting a lot this week on the past, on general life lessons and just things I've discovered about myself.  Here are the:

20 Things I've Learned in my Twenties

1)  Even though I adored my college experience, I learned that a 4 year university really isn't the right path for everyone at age 18.  And not to automatically pass a negative judgment on anyone who's forged another way. 

2)  I am just not a career person.  I'm lucky to have a job at a company I believe in and to work with some great people.  But my true passions really don't align with many viable jobs.  I've prioritized my family's well being and comfort over my interests in choosing my profession, and I'm perfectly ok with that. It just doesn't exactly make for a lady who's itching to climb the corporate ladder.

3)  I do not need everyone to like me.  It's just too much work to pretend to be someone you're not for the people who don't get you.  As my buddy V used to say, "Sometimes a person is just not 'your people,' and that's ok."

4)  My 22 year old self would have been much better off to know that Jaegermeister is the devil.

Took me a full year to realize that Jaeger + Red Bull always = regret.

5)  Making friends is way harder as an adult (especially in the suburbs).  Although I still haven't pegged why.  Perhaps it's because we're no longer on a common playing field (e.g. how everyone was the new kid freshman year of college)?  Because we're all more cautious and reserved the older we get?  *Shrug*
 
6)  There is no right way to break up with someone, but if you're truly unhappy you can't waffle over it.  [Thank God for the courage and wisdom of Kim Kardashian, or I would never have come to terms with this on my own.]

7)  I'm grateful that while growing up, my parents were more authority figures and guidance counselors than friends.  That's what parents are supposed to do.  But now that I'm an adult and they no longer are responsible for me, I am so lucky to say that my parents are truly amazing friends to me.

8)  You should ALWAYS turn off your cell phone at the end of a night of drinking.  Once you're home safely, obviously.

9)  It's alright to let some friends fade out of your life -- sometimes people are needed in certain points in your life and then you go your separate ways.  That doesn't make the memories of those friends any less special.
 
10)  That ALL relationships are work, and nothing lasting exists without ongoing maintenance.  I've learned to make sure that I put forth effort with people who are worth it and are in it for the long haul with me. 

11) That as long as you can financially support yourself and not forgo your own sense of integrity, you should do whatever you damn well please as your job -- no matter what pressures or influences there are from family, classmates, friends, and society.  No need to work at something you dread because you think it'll make someone else proud or because it's the "best fit" for what you studied in college.

12)  A plate of pancakes may not fix your problems, but it will always makeyou forget them for awhile.

Bills?  Errands?  Deadlines?  All I see is sweet, sweet syrup.

13)  I have a really short fuse when it comes to rudeness (even if unintentional) from absolute strangers, and this trait can get me into a lot of trouble.  I'm trying really hard to work on not being counter-rude.  Everyone deserves common courtesy, even if they don't have my respect.

14)  The biggest way to strike up a new friendship is a common interest, right?  Embrace all your nerdy obsessions and fascinations, and let that freak flag proudly fly.  It becomes less embarrassing and more hilarious to geek out over something you love, especially if it connects you to someone else.  I'm a loud and proud lover of Lost, tinned sardines, Bob Seger, Harry Potter, and visiting insane tourist traps.

Rock 'n' roll never forgets.

15)  Never say never.  Because there will be that one time that new info comes to light, and you'll want to reserve the right to change your mind.  E.g. me, circa 2007, "never" wanting a phone that did anything more than call and text.  2012 me is cracking up over that one.

16) I've lived in enough places that I can now officially declare it.  Despite the noise, smog, traffic, etc. of city living, I am an affirmed Town Mouse.  The suburbs have their charms, and it's what's best for my family now.  But someday...

17)  That if you choose to marry at all, marry your best friend.  Seriously, it's the only way you're going to keep it together for years to come.  Oh, and this is operating under the assumption that best friends make each other laugh, are honest with each other (at least about the big stuff), and are just opposite enough to keep things interesting. 

18)  As soon as you have a steady paycheck, no matter how small, you gots to start saving for retirement.  I'd rather be playing bridge on my front porch in my 70s than continuing to tote the weary load.

19)  Making couch forts will always be fun, no matter what your age.

20)  That the fundamental truth of my life (just me, not universal for everyone) is that I'm meant to be a mama.  I really do understand that parenting is not what everyone wants, and that's cool.  But it's what I've worked hardest at in my life and it's my greatest and most useful talent (not that I'm in any way the perfect parent).  It's the thing I've wanted the hardest and most consistently in my time on this earth.  All the babysitting, nannying, and day camp counseling was leading up to this.

"Fallin', yes I am fallin', and she keeps callin' me back again."